


Small Bump

by Gingerfloss



Category: Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Coma, F/M, Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-22
Updated: 2014-05-07
Packaged: 2017-11-19 06:53:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 24,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/570433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gingerfloss/pseuds/Gingerfloss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You got me pregnant and threw me away like any other piece of trash." Tony Stark is in a coma and he's not here to help anymore. Pepper Potts is on her own, coming to terms with the idea of being a single parent and praying for him to wake up. Pepper/Tony with a little bit of help from the Avengers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Small Bump

Something was wrong with Virginia Potts, and she knew it.

Her hands settling on the table in front of her as she gritted her teeth, wishing the searing pain that was tearing across her stomach would stop. It had been the third time in two hours that this had happened, and no matter how much painkiller she took it still wouldn't stop. At least today she'd managed to reschedule her usual meetings, making up some sort of pointless excuse about Stark and whatever he'd done wrong this time. Luckily nobody asked questions about it, they were all too used to it being true. Dragging herself to her feet she started to pace the room, it was a force of habit, either through stress or her just trying to clear her head, but hopefully right now it would help with the pains she was getting.

With every movement it started to subside a little, and she could finally take in a little more of the surroundings. Her office had just been re-painted, and the smell of the fresh paint usually made her feel better, made her feel fresh and clean and like she was starting a-fresh. But today it was turning her stomach over. With a scowl she marched over to one of the huge glass windows, pushing one open manually rather than letting JARVIS see to it. The rush of fresh air was a blessing, and she closed her eyes for a moment, what on earth was going on?

Something inside her head was willing her to just ring the doctors and have done with it, to just find out what the hell was happening to her and have done with it. Pepper had never been able to stand not knowing anything; everything was ordered and perfect and worked to her plans. Her rules and regulations and nothing ever changed, but this was driving her mad. She'd suffered almost two months of on and off pains and cramps, and all they seemed to be doing was getting worse as time went on. Dragging herself away from the window and the fresh air she sat back down, pulling her diary out from the bottom drawer of her desk and flicking through it just to check something. Nope, it couldn't be that, according to this she hadn't missed anything and she knew the stress she was under was a constant problem when it came to this type of thing. Slamming the book closed again she retrieved the pile of paperwork that S.H.I.E.L.D had sent her two days ago, spreading it out across the desk and picking up the nearest pen, filling it out on automatic, still willing the pains to disappear.

The past few weeks had been busy, what with the clubbing fiasco and the mountains of work that where flooding her desk she hadn't had five minutes to think about what was going on in her own head, there was work that still wasn't finished, meetings that needed attending to and at least three business deals that she needed to complete. Casting all thoughts of pain aside as she grabbed the painkiller and coke from her bottom drawer she drowned the both of them, ditching the rubbish in the bin and instructing JARVIS to set her usual play-list to loop.

Maybe this time the medication would take effect.

Four hours, and a completed mountain of paperwork later the pain hadn't disappeared. Closing her eyes tightly for a while she rested her head on her arms, covering her ears. She just wanted it all to stop, she really didn't want to listen to the world around her or listen to the noises that were reverberating in her own head. Since when could pain become pure white noise?

Slowly she was losing control to the cramps in her lower body. Tears where seeping out of the corners of her eyes before she could stop them, pouring down onto the paperwork and staining the ink, making it pool into blotches, spoiling all her hard work. For the next few minutes she just let herself give in.

Finally Pepper gathered her feelings back up and hastily stuck it back together again, wiping off her eyes and her face and forcing herself to her feet. The best thing she could do now was find something else to occupy her head with, and the best way to do that was probably to leave her office. Gritting her teeth she marched across to the door, pulling it open and flicking off the lights on the way out before heading out into the corridor. She could cope with this. She could cope with anything!

But somehow she'd only made it halfway down the corridor before she was leaning on the whitewashed wall, desperately trying to calm her breathing as she fisted her hands, when would this stop?! Closing her eyes again she took no notice of the oncoming footsteps, counting her breathing down in her head in an attempt to make it stop.


	2. Chapter 2

The sound that was approaching her brought her suddenly back to her senses, forcing herself up off the floor and brushing down her skirt, forcing herself to smile at the figure that was about five meters away her.

"Miss Potts?" The voice was light, airy as usual and relaxed her a little; this younger blonde woman had been one of the latest interns from the office. She'd caught Mr Stark checking out her legs when she'd first arrived and Pepper had elbowed him in the ribs for it. She wouldn't confess to wanting to keep his attention to herself, she was too mature for that. Finally managing to straighten up she offered her smile to the blonde, receiving one in return accompanied by a white paper envelope: "It’s from the hospital, they promised to send you constant updates on Mr Stark’s condition." The office girl had explained, noticing the mild confusion on her bosses face.

Pepper nodded, turning the envelope over and tearing it open as she turned away from the blonde, not wanting her to see the water that was pulling at the corners of her eyes. She'd been holding it together ever since the accident, not that she'd forgiven Stark for it. He hadn't had to do that to her. Without a word she'd vanished back into her office, leaving the other standing awkwardly in the corridor. The pains in her stomach burnt again as she forced one foot in front of the other, wishing that this dammed office was smaller. The pains could be from whatever was happening in her stomach, or just because of the letter in her hand.

She knew nothing would have changed, nothing had in the past month, every one of these sheets was full of the same information, the same story written over and over again by every doctor she'd sent to his bedside.

He wasn't awake and he wasn't going to wake up.

Yet.

And she had to keep thinking that way.

Settling on her office chair again she turned the papers over, smiling a little as she recognised the name, Dr Donald Blake. Of course, Pepper had thought he'd hold up to that promise, scanning the papers her expression settled again, the tears starting to fall from her eyes. She wasn't crying. She couldn't bring herself to cry anymore. She'd worn herself out with it. This water was just a technicality. It seemed even Asgard didn't have a solution to her heartbreak. The searing pain in her stomach doubled again and she curled up, tucking her legs underneath her chin and wrapping her arms around them, this had to stop. By now he'd have forced her to go to the hospital about this, or at least the doctors. As much as Tony disliked them going anywhere near him he'd always insisted she was properly looked after. Closing her eyes she rested her forehead on her knees, thinking it through. The hospital was too far and the doctors asked too many questions, and she couldn't cope with any more questions. Biting her lip she finally convinced herself to move, leaning down and pulling the laptop towards her, at least online she could ask the questions.

Little under an hour later and her stomach was filling with butterflies and a strange sick making burning in the back of her throat, no matter how many times she'd searched it, or whose medical website she'd check, the answer was constantly coming back the same. But that surely wasn't possible. It couldn't be possible, she was always so careful. Shoving the laptop away she pulled herself to her feet, padding across the room to glare in the mirror, taking in her own reflection.

Pepper knew she looked terrible, but she'd avoided the mirror as much as possible even with her full mask of makeup on. Eyes ringed in black from the restless nights, the destroyed eyeliner adding to the effect, lips stained red from being constantly bitten in worry and her hair loose down her back, unkempt and flyway. She looked like her emotions had just punched her in the face, and she felt like they had.

Punched her in the face, the heart and then the stomach for good measure.

Almost as if her body knew where her mind had wondered to it burnt again, forcing her thoughts back to the reason for standing up. Turning to the side she pressed her hand to her stomach, gazing at the reflection, she'd barely eaten lately but somehow...

…There seemed to be a bump. A very small, very secret bump forming under her hand.

Panicking in horror she pulled up her blouse, not breaking eye contact with her own reflection, it seemed the lack of clothing just made the lump bigger. Surely it couldn't be that, she was probably imagining it.

"You've wound yourself up Virginia…" She muttered, still gazing at herself, it had been a habit Stark had always found adorable; apparently she did it in her sleep to. The thought of him just seemed to make the entire situation worse, pulling at her heart as if it was on strings, attempting to rip it apart again. Mentally shaking herself she padded back across the room, bending down to hunt through the bottom drawer of her desk again.

She'd been keeping pregnancy tests in her desk, along with enough painkiller and assorted other medications to stock a small hospital since the first woman had been caught crying in the break room when she'd had a panic like this. She'd been so flippant back then, secretly thinking the other woman was an idiot because she didn't even have contact with the supposed father.

Did she have contact with him? He was asleep, he hadn't even moved in a month. Was she any better than that woman ten years ago?

Pepper had to convince herself not to throw up as she found what she'd been looking for, gazing down at it for a moment.

Pregnancy Test. 99% accurate.

The thing in her hand would probably tell her truth. She'd finally know what was wrong with her. Steadying her nerve she pulled herself back to her feet, tidying herself up before heading toward the bathroom. Pepper knew if she didn't do this now she probably never would do, in some ways, the pains were less scary than that possibility.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for waiting for this, and thank you for the amazing reaction and the reviews. As the plot of 'Dear Tony' inspires this fic, I suggest you read that before reading this. Get the tissues ready.


	3. Chapter 3

Time surely wasn't intended to pass this slowly, it was like torture, counting every second that passed and ignoring the thing clamped in her left hand. It was only to take five minutes, but these where the five minutes that could completely turn her world upside down, tear it apart and rearrange it in seconds flat. Closing her eyes she sat down, perched on the edge of the sink in one of the quietest sets of ladies toilets in the building, Pepper had discovered this place on her second day working here, and had been using it ever since, so much so that Tony had joked they should make it private, just for her personal use.

She'd never seen the point it bothering to do so, apart from right now. She didn't know what she'd do if someone did walk in, break down? No. She was above that, no matter what, she'd cope with this.

Somehow.

Peaking down at the watch on her wrist her lips didn't change from the scowl they'd been set, how had it only been two minutes? This was horrible, making her stomach curdle as she set the device down next to the mirror, not daring to glance back into it at her own refection. Pepper would have quite happily curled up and refused to exist until this was all over.

If it was true, if there was another life inside her, if this really was a baby-bump, then it had to be Starks. There was nobody else it could belong to.

Right now she'd have given anything just to have him here beside her, holding her hand and waiting with her. Lately she'd been getting sick of waiting, waiting her tony to wake up, waiting for the press to go away, and waiting for the world to come right again. It was ironic really, there was never just one thing that went wrong, and everything had to come tumbling down at once. Life had actually been sorting itself out, she felt loved, felt like someone cared about her and wanted to look after her and it had all been wrenched out from underneath her feet.

Giving the timepiece another glare her stomach turned over again, forcing the sick feeling to the surface. There was only a minute left. 60 seconds and she'd know the truth, there was only one other moment when time had made her feel this sick, waiting for the jet to touchdown when they'd brought her Tony back from that hell hole. All those months of waiting and he'd still come home to her, surely he'd just do the same for her now; maybe the news would be the key to waking him, or a sharp heel between the legs.

30, 29, 28…

Pepper seemed to have chosen exactly the wrong moment to look down, the seconds on the clock where teasing her, each one taking a lifetime to pass. Her mind began to wonder, each passing second causing another horrifying thought.

27, 26, 25…

So, it this was the case, if she was pregnant with Tony Stark, what would he have thought of her, of it?

23, 22, 21…

Would he have even wanted it? Would he have wanted to be a Father?

20, 19, 18…

Would he want it when he woke up?

17, 16, 15…

Could she cope? Could she be a mom? Be a mom to Starks child?

14, 13, 12…

But he wasn't here to ask, she couldn't ask.

11, 10…

Would he ever come back? Or was she just refusing to accept something part of her already knew?

9, 8, 7…

She'd be a single mom; that seemed more and more certain with every doctor's report, and every passing second it was starting to sink in.

6, 5, 4…

Tony was not going to come back. He'd gone. He'd left her.

3…

She might have the only still living part of Anthony Howard Stark inside her body, the child of a billionaire probably with the brains to match.

2…

Help.

ONE.

The alarm on her wrist started to bleep at her, the dim mechanical noise ringing in her ears and dragging her back from her terror. Automatically, she reached for the device, before something in her mind caught her hand, forcing it to stop mid movement.

This was supposed to be a moment of joy wasn't it? That's how all the books made it out to be, how everyone on the TV said it should be, how her friends had insisted it would be when she finally had her baby.

And what about her? What about Virginia Potts? The same woman that had stubbornly refused to even go near boys for years, terrified that she'd end up in a mess like she was right now, balanced on the edge of the sink at work waiting to find out if she'd been screwed over by her boss. For all those years she'd been good, she'd behaved, kept herself clean, worked as hard as she could and built her carer from nowhere.

All because someone had once promised her that fairy-tale ending.

Promised her someday she'd get her knight in shining armour, her dream wedding and a beautiful family somewhere quiet in the country where she could watch them grow and fall in love with the man beside her every single day.

It was all wrong, this was all wrong, but she couldn't go back. Pepper had to know, she needed to know before all these possibilities drove her insane.

Forcing herself to her feet she reached for it, glancing at herself in the mirror again, It seemed she'd already started to cry without thinking about it, tears trailing down over familiar paths on her cheeks.

"Whatever happens." Pepper told the woman in the mirror, shaking a little as her fingers closed around it: "We'll get through this, we can get through anything, you run Stark Industries and put up with Tony Stark." The fake laugh was weak, echoing a little in the abandoned room.

Finally she turned the pregnancy test over, not even daring to breathe as she let her gaze fall downwards.


	4. Chapter 4

"You really do work too hard, you know that, Pep?"

Secretly she'd smiled at those words, keeping her gaze away from her boyfriend and on the work that was balanced on her lap as she tucked her legs underneath her, flicking the page over as she readied her pen: "I don't work too hard, I do the work you constantly refuse to do or forget about or ignore."

"Maybe if you stopped working for five minutes you'd realise I've put the paperwork to good use." Pepper knew that note in his voice all too well, it was how he usually got his own way, or when he was desperately trying to tease her into coming upstairs into his bed.

"If you're naked on the bed again using the paperwork I need you to do for SHIELD for unspeakable things again Tony…" The strawberry-blonde chided, getting up from the sofa anyway and rounding on her partner, scowl set on her lips despite the butterflies that where teasing her stomach. She'd been right; there was her partner in all his glory, grinning at her like the cat that just got the cream. Peppers own cheeks where burning as they tumbled into bed together, just like the night before, and the night before that. She was in love with him, completely crazy and utterly in love with the billionaire that constantly drove her to distraction.

"You can't be serious! No!" Her hands were shaking as she turned away from him, desperately trying not to cry: "I'm not going on my own just because you don't feel like it Stark." This was the other side to their relationship, the arguments, the anger and the frustration and the tears: "You have a responsibility, to me, to this company." Pepper wouldn't look back as she paced the room, wringing her hands and wishing she had something to keep them occupied.

Her partner groaned, turning his back on the woman in the dress that was marching around his lab, she was acting too much like a mother again: "It’s nothing important Potts; I know you can cope with it." They were back to using each other’s surnames, and refusing to keep eye contact.

"I don't want to." She muttered, looking down at her feet as she stopped in the centre of the lab and pausing for a moment, hoping for him to react to her, surely he'd heard that? To her horror when she glanced around to face him he'd slipped his headphones back on, taking completely no noticed of her yet again. The tears stung as she turned away to leave, that night he'd make it up to her and she knew it. Part of her honestly couldn't blame him for his complete dislike of these meetings, if she had the choice she wouldn't attend either, Pepper would much rather be in his arms again. But this was her job.

Sighing, she turned away from the man at the desk in the office, unable to bring herself to be angry at him for much longer.

She'd make sure he made it up to her tonight.

The meeting was almost boring her to death when she felt her phone go off, vibrating fiercely against her hip as she groped for it, flipping it over to read the message under the table. The name made a smile tug at the corners of her lips, it was from Tony. As annoyed at him as she was over that morning’s refusal she'd be lying if it wasn't nice to realise that he was thinking about her.

Off on a mission for SHIELD, nothing exciting. Be in my bed when I get back Pep. I owe you. X

She scowled, the word she was hoping for wasn't there, but of course it wasn't, this was her Tony Stark after all. These missions for Stark had become more and more popular of late, but they never seemed to be anything interesting, it was as if SHIELD didn't trust him again, after all the issues with the Avengers it wasn't exactly surprising. Pocketing her phone again she forced her attention back to her meeting, trying not to think about exactly what those last three words meant.

"Miss Potts." Pepper jumped when she was called on, noticing the horrified expression on the young woman's face as she approached her, holding out the phone in her hand: "I-I think you need to take this." Scrambling to her feet she grabbed for it, bolting from the meeting room as she rammed it to her ear: "Hello?"

The next few minutes made her heart burn, it couldn't be true. The phone call was from the hospital and it was Stark, he was in trouble. What was supposed to be a simple mission had gone horrifically wrong.

He was in hospital.

And he wasn't responding.

Her face went white as she realised exactly what that meant.

Her Antony Stark was in a coma.

Grabbing for her bags she ran for it, hailing the nearest taxi and heading straight for the hospital. He was winding her up; he wasn't exactly a normal human; it was probably just a simple thing of replacing the batteries or something.

All this time later and still he wasn't awake, she'd tried, Bruce had tried, SHIELD had tried, even the Asgardian doctors that Thor had dragged down to earth had tried. But nothing had worked. Pepper knew it, but technically her Tony Stark was being kept alive by the battery in his chest. There was no response and there had been no changes, but she wouldn't give up, they'd find a cure somehow.

"Whatever happens. We'll get through this, we can get through anything, you run Stark Industries and put up with Tony Stark." Pepper knew she'd said it but the words felt like they were coming from somewhere else, somewhere inside her.

Finally she turned the pregnancy test over, not even daring to breathe as she let her gaze fall downwards.

The symbol was exactly what she'd expected it to be.

She was pregnant.

Pepper wanted her legs to give way, wanted to cry and hide her head in her hands and pray that the one person she desperately needed right now would wake up for her. Instead she pulled her thoughts together, her hair back up and slipped the test in her bag, pulling it back over her shoulder before heading out of the bathroom.

She would save the tears until she was at his bedside.


	5. Chapter 5

Pepper glanced sideways in the window as she left the bathroom, noticing her reflection and re-setting her expression to the usual one, calm, collected and level-headed, despite how she felt inside. Nobody in the building noticed anything different about the strawberry blonde as she put one foot in front of the other, treading the very familiar path out of Stark Tower. The afternoon could be completely rescheduled; she needed to talk to her boyfriend. Even though she knew he wouldn't hear her, just the prospect of telling him made her stomach settle a little.

Absently, she place her hand protectively over her stomach, feeling for the bump she knew was developing there. It made sense for her to be pregnant; it explained the moods but didn't explain the pains. They were probably normal, it wasn't as if pregnancy was something she really talked about with her girlfriends, or something her sisters ever told her about, or something she'd been particularly interested in. Only now was the thought of it even crossing her mind. Finally she'd reached the reception, so lost in her thoughts that she didn't noticed the man she walked straight into. Luckily he'd grabbed her and pulled her back to her feet before she'd even had chance to hit the floor: "You alright, Red?"

"Yes, yes, I'm fine, sorry…" She blushed, her hands automatically pressing against her stomach again to check the bump when she realised who was standing in front of her, his hand on her shoulder. Since his arrival 9 years ago, Harold 'Happy' Hogan and her had been working in close proximity, so much so that Stark used to joke the two of them might as well be married without the sex. He was the only person in Stark Industries she could never keep a secret from, probably because they knew each other inside out for all the hours spent together. Pepper noticed where his gaze had fallen to before she had chance to pull her hands away: "Period pains…" She muttered, running her hands down and straightening her dress, trying to make it look absent minded

If he'd realised she was lying he didn't say anything, nodding and stepping back from her: "Where you going somewhere? I thought your meetings were all here today?"

"I was looking for you." It was partially true; she reasoned to herself, yanking her handbag back up onto her shoulder and asking him to take her would save her attempting to find a taxi driver that wouldn't ask questions. She'd been that distracted with stopping him from asking questions she hadn't noticed what had slipped from the bag, landing on the floor: "Could you take me to the hospital? I need to talk to someone."

He nodded, since Tony had been admitted Pepper had been asking him to take her more and more, the visits were almost daily, even when the hospital hadn't called her with news. Before he could actually answer she'd turned on her heel, walking off and expecting her to follow. He was struggling to watch her do this to herself; surely she knew it wasn't going to work? But you can't just stop loving someone; he of all people knew that too well. Sighing Happy went to follow her, almost standing on the thing on the floor beneath him, in one movement he'd bent down and grabbed it.

As soon as it was in his hands he'd realised exactly what it was, and in seconds the pieces seemed to fit together. It was positive; his boss was demanding to see her partner in the middle of a workday, and her instinctual reaction earlier.

Someone might as well have just broken his heart in into a million pieces.

"Are you coming or not?" Her words brought him back to his senses as she glanced back at him, her lips set in their usual scowl. Somehow they'd made their way out of the building and down to the car park without his realising, part of him was tempted to give her back the device in his hand, but her even possibly thinking he knew would probably be the worst thing he could do to her. Pepper needed a friend right now, not someone who was rather annoyed (and still madly in love with her) for ending up pregnant with Antony Stark’s child.

"Yep, Sorry, New interns." He waved his hand behind him, knowing the words would make her smile as he shoved the device in his back pocket. Pepper did, uncrossing her arms as they fell into step, aiming for one of the smaller company cars hidden at the back of the parking lot, the less attention she could attract the better, every other visit had been invaded by reporters.

"Again?" The ginger teased, glancing up at him: "Think any of them will notice you this time? Or will I have to set up more dates?" It had become a habit of hers to try and find him a girlfriend, especially after she'd started dating Stark seriously. He just shrugged, opening the car door for her and letting her sit down.

The journey, in both of their opinions seemed to take longer than usual, the banter was normal, and it made Pepper relax a little, almost forgetting that she'd wrapped her arm across her stomach again. He was struggling to keep his eyes off her and on the road, joining in the conversation to stop her thinking there was anything wrong. It was old territory, a discussion they'd had many times before.

Finally they pulled up outside the hospital, only to be surrounded by the usual group of reporters and cameras.

"You alright? I could come with you?" He suggested when he noticed her expression and how pale she'd become.

"I can deal with it; I'll be back in an hour…" Pepper muttered, grabbing her bag and smiling at him as she pushed the door open, parting the crowd easily. The reporters seemed scarier than usual as she vanished into the hospital, the staff here were that used to seeing her that they never even asked, just passed her a visitor’s card without any trouble, letting her make her own way through the whitewashed corridors. Almost on cue the pains started again, burning her stomach as she forced herself to keep walking, it was as if the pains knew exactly what she was about to do, and how much it hurt. The past half an hour had been a distraction, meaning that she didn't have to think about the words she was about to have to say to her boyfriend.

Forcing back the sickness that was welling in her stomach she pushed the door open, casting her gaze towards the figure on the bed. There, perfectly preserved with his hair tidy, arms by his sides and a completely relaxed expression on his face, was her Tony Stark, the cause of all this heartache. Letting the heavy door swing shut behind her she crossed the room, perching on the edge of the bed where she usually sat, gazing down at him. He looked at peace with the world, calm and quiet and content, he didn't even look like this when he was asleep in her arms.

Dropping her bag on the floor she gently placed her hand over the dim light of the arc reactor that was still embedded in his chest, avoiding the wires in his wrists and steadying herself, leaning up to brush the loose hairs from his forehead. Pepper had to tell him, she couldn't keep this secret.

Even though she was slowly starting to accept that he couldn't hear her.

"I…." Gently she rested her hand on his cheek, gazing down at his closed eyes: "I'm pregnant… and it’s yours, of course." Her laugh was nervous, airy and forced but she had to keep going: "I know we never talked about children… but… well, it's a bit too late." She took his other hand in her own and pressed it against her stomach, despite the limpness in his wrist and how cold it felt: "Now you'll have to come back to me…." There were tears on her cheeks as she carried on speaking, forcing herself to carry on: "…Come on Tony, I can't do this alone, we can't do this alone…" Her words had merged into the tears and it was all a mess, pouring down her face and onto his cold hand still pressed against her: "You always swore you'd be a better father than yours was…"

Pepper bent down and pressed her forehead on his, her tears dripping down onto his dead cheeks: "Please Tony…. Please." She forced her lips over his, some small part of her praying it would work, like all those stupid fairy tales when he woke up for her kisses.

It didn't work, of course it didn't.

The words disappeared as she wept, nuzzled into his shoulder as for the first time she let her feelings go, it all her, the world hurt, everything was going wrong and she couldn't stop it happening. Hiccupping as she pulled away, Pepper placed both hands on his face, one on each cheek: "I love you, just wake up, please? I don't wanna be a mommy on my own."

The tears were useless, the sensible part of her brain was kicking back in, forcing her to pull away and stand up, tearing her gaze from his face. He hadn't responded, there had been nothing, no matter how much she cried he didn't even blink. Fighting back anger and frustration she turned on her heel, marching away from his sleeping form.


	6. Chapter 6

Stark Industries was scarily peaceful for the next few days, everything was working to schedule and Pepper was actually rather enjoying her job for once, it kept her mind off the crap that kept following her around, despite how much painkiller she forced down her neck. Without the usual incoming deadlines and a grumpy Anthony Stark to chase around it could almost be considered a normal job. Three days into this normal job and it had started to hit her hard; this could be her life now, a normal, boring life.

The strawberry blonde paused as she reached to open the door to her masters office, glancing at the name plate on the door and gently resting her hand over her stomach, letting herself think for a moment that he'd actually be on the other side of it, waiting for her with the usual cocky grin and his arms wide open to her. Maybe if he had been there then this would be easier, maybe he'd have wanted to be a father? Without Tony there to ask she'd had to guess, praying that she'd made the right decision.

Just after the visit to the hospital she'd convinced Happy to take her to the nearest book store, which hadn't been that difficult, despite the fact she owned an E-book and almost swore by it. It was so much easier to cope with and to take care of; so far she hadn't managed to lose it. As soon as Pepper was out of the car she'd picked up the first decent book she'd found on pregnancy, quickly followed by another one for good luck, hiding them under the usual trashy magazines and romantic novels, intentionally picking up the hard covers so she could switch the dust jackets. (It was a trick she'd picked up from a book somewhere) Luckily for her the woman on the desk hadn't got a clue who she was, so didn't even question the choice of reading material.

The books had been hiding in Stark’s office since they'd been brought back into the tower, it was the only place she knew that nobody would disturb her, the door refused to open to anyone else but her.

It was almost as if Tony wanted to keep his office, and what went on inside it a secret. Gently pushing the door open she let it swing closed behind her, smiling a little at the familiarity of the place, despite the pains welling up again just to remind her they were there. Taking no notice she marched inside, not needing to lock the door. As always it was a mess in here, books, paperwork and blueprints cluttering the floor, the desk covered in half-finished mechanics, and the mess of their last misuse of it. If walls could talk these would certainly have a tale to tell, stories of arguments, laughter and love, as well as their rampant sex life and the numerous times they'd almost been caught by Director Fury and the other Avengers, all those nights they'd spent asleep on the sofa or Tony had fallen asleep on the desk, head in his arms and mouth ajar when she'd found him in the mornings, wrapping him in a blanket and leaving him to sleep. Pepper couldn't help the smile, running her fingers along the edge of the desk, brushing over the scattered paperwork without bothering to tidy it, tidying this room would be like tidying him away, and she couldn't do that. Imagine how much he'd tell her off for moving his equipment?

Pepper stopped exactly in the centre of the desk, pulling the two books out from under the paperwork and tucking them under her arm, usually she'd have hugged them to her stomach but there was someone else in the way. With a slight smile she rested her hand on the bump, stoking her fingers over it through the thin dress she was hiding in, now she knew it was supposed to be there she wasn't quite so terrified any more, but that didn't stop it eating at her heart. Her Tony Stark, the same genius she'd fallen for within minutes wasn't here any-more.

"Daddy’s coming back..." Pepper muttered aloud, unsure if she was talking to the bump or herself as she sat down, pulling the notepaper from her back that she'd brought with her, resting it on the book: "Daddy wouldn't leave me and you...He loves us too much... and anyway, he made you." The paper was for today's letter, whenever she had a spare moment she'd write to him, sometimes it was easier than trying to say it, even though she was quickly losing faith in him remembering a word she'd said, or knowing she was even there.

Her right hand was still resting on the bump as she started to write, the last thing she'd said resonating in her ears. He had made the baby that was now growing inside her, and she remembered exactly when and where. It had been an accident, of course, Tony had attempted to surprise her, and it had all gone wrong. Either he'd forgotten about her strawberry allergy or it had somehow slipped into the food, but somehow their romantic night out together had turned into a mess. He'd called the ambulance for her, his hand tight around hers once he'd shifted her into the recovery position.

Pepper had wanted to cry, it hurt like hell, her airways closing up inside her and there was nothing she could do, stupidly this was the one night she'd forgotten to throw her medication in her bag, despite the fact she carried it at all times usually. Tony had knelt down to her level, his hand gently stroking her cheek as he shushed her, breathing with her in an effort to keep her calm, his own worry etched across his face. Part of her was rather enjoying seeing him care for her for a chance, if on the circumstances had been different and she might have even pretend to be his damsel in distress.

From that moment on it was a blur of noise and movement, jumbled up with camera lenses and the grip on her hand that didn't seem to stop, had Tony held her hand through all of it? She'd have to ask him later.

Peppers next semi-permanent memory was of Stark with a needle in his hand, muttering something to her about how he was going to do it himself, because he knew how much she hated needles. Secretly she had no idea how he'd worked that one out, she'd never told him about it, fearing it would be a little bit too childish even for Tony. She hadn't resisted, just let him help her.

As soon as she could breath and the hives were starting to disappear from her cheeks he'd started to talk, somehow making her collapse into giggles despite how much she was struggling to breathe. Before she could stop him he'd climbed onto the bed with her not caring who was watching them as she apologised, saying the words over and over again, as if he was trying to convince her to believe he meant it. Any other day and she would probably have told him off, pushed him away and sulked for a while before finally accepting his words; she had a reputation to keep up. But right now she was tired, collapsing into his gentle touch as he kissed the hives on her cheek, obviously attempting to make them better.

Stark’s actions were annoying her that much she lent forwards, grabbing for him and pushing their lips together, the sudden warmth and familiarity of it calming her down, despite how much of a mess she felt and looked in that moment. For once he didn't take over, but let her, giving her the chance to explore his mouth, reclaiming every inch of his mouth as her own. Nobody else was allowed to do this, control Stark.

But her power was short lived as he pushed her back, leading her down into the pillows of her hospital bed, swinging his legs over her. Pepper knew in that moment she'd have to scold him in the morning as they tried to get dressed before the nurses wanted to check on her again, but she craved him just as much as he craved her. It was gentle, soft and loving for once, there was nobody to rush them and no meetings to attend, just the two of them and the hospital machines. It was one of those moments that reminded her exactly why she was completely in love with Anthony Stark.

September 19 2012

Dear Tony,

I couldn't tell you any other way; I just had to write it. I'm three months gone.

Do you even know what happened three months ago? The night that you accidentally fed me strawberries and we ended up in the hospital, both of us giggling like children despite how much it hurt, I couldn't breathe and you made it worse! I remember you holding my hand whilst we waited to find out if I'd live or not, stealing the needles from the doctors to do it yourself because you knew how scared I was of needles.

The moment they were gone and I could breathe you pulled me into your arms and said sorry, looking like a kicked puppy as you tried to kiss my cheeks better. I ignored you and pushed our lips together, taking control of you for five minutes, you relaxed and threw me back.

Only after we'd finished did you tell me that had been on your bucket list.

I'm glad we did that.

I wish you'd shown me that list; I'd have let you do everything.

I miss you.

Virginia finished writing with a sign, surprised to find tear-drops trickling down each cheek, splashing onto the page in her hands. It seemed that the memories stopped her thinking about the pains in her body, or the emptiness in her heart.

There was nothing she wouldn't give to be back in his arms, back where she knew she belonged and knew she was loved.

Pulling her hand away from the bump she brushed away the sadness, cleaning herself up before folding up the letter, pressing her lips to it before tidying it away into his desk drawer, adding it to the pile that was growing inside there.

Without a second glance she curled around in the chair, tugging the blanket down from the back of it, wrapping it around herself and snuggling into the scent of him, calming herself down a little. Propping the book open on her knee and wrapping an arm across bump to protect it she settled down to read, pretending that it was his arms around her as she carried on her research into pregnancy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't already, I'd recommend you read 'Dear Tony, Love Pepper' which is the inspiration for this story, the letters that Pepper mentions are the ones that she's been writing to Tony as he's in a coma, each one is left in the drawer in his desk back at Stark Industries.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd give this song a listen before reading this chapter: http://youtube.com/watch?v=plfRtiUQnRA

The next day’s visit to the hospital was cancelled, Pepper was rushed off her feet yet again and the visits were just making it worse, the less time she spent near him the less she thought about it. It was almost as if she could pretend that none of it had ever happened, that he was just hiding in his lab and she was going about her daily business. Since the day Tony left them, neither her nor Bruce had set foot in his private laboratory, it had never been her favourite place and without him in it the stairs had all seemed pointless.

Her thoughts were brought back to earth suddenly as the meeting she had been attending ended, technically she'd been running it but nobody had really expected very much of her, nobody seemed to anymore, Pepper couldn't work out if they were just being sympathetic and thought they were doing the right thing being so gentle with her, or if Tony really had been the only one that had ever needed her. Forcing herself to her feet she smiled at the attendees, shaking their hands and talking about the meeting as if she knew what had just happened.

Just like everyone else the last thing they left her with was another sympathetic look as the door swung shut behind them. Usually she just ignored them, but for some reason this particular one hurt, maybe because the clients that had just been in there were the very first ones that she had ever been completely allowed to deal with on her own on behalf of Stark Industries, Or maybe, finally Pepper Potts had had enough of everyone acting like he was already dead.

Was she the only one still holding out some hope for her partner?

Grabbing her bag and the freshly signed paperwork she marched out of the meeting room, headed directly for Anthony Stark’s office and ignoring everything else that got in her way, including three of the newest interns that obviously needed something and whoever had arrived early for the meeting she was supposed to be holding in an hour. Usually her temper was perfectly controlled, tucked away behind her ear just the same as every strand of flyway ginger. But her pain was overwhelming her and she'd had enough of crying, it made no difference and reduced her to nothing.

Almost as if it knew, the thing inside her started to hurt, white fever filling her mind as she forced her body to keep moving, head down to avoid anyone noticing the pain in her eyes. Finally reaching his office she tapped the code into the panel, ignoring JARVIS's voice around her and slamming the door closed.

There was a part of him growing inside her, a part of the man she was still madly in love with and holding out all hope for that he'd be coming back to her, but all it did was cause her pain. It was almost as if it was on purpose, the torture of losing him was pure pain and burning her from the inside out. Every book told her it was wrong, every single thing she read insisted she should get some help, the pain shouldn't be so real, but somehow it suited her feelings. Summing up her determination she found her way to the desk, collapsing into the chair as she tried to calm her breathing.

She was fighting to calm the only living part of Anthony Stark she had left, the only thing with a beating heart that was anything like the man she loved. How could this even be possible? He was alive inside her but he wasn't there. Everything she'd tried didn't work. Every way she knew how to wake him up did nothing but make her heart ache more. Closing her eyes tightly she leant back in the leather, resting her head against it as her hands fell to her stomach again, letting her mind wonder from the feelings and back onto the past.

Pepper could have sworn he'd mentioned his father to her more than once, always insisting that he'd make a better job of it that he did, laughing about the masses of children he wanted so he could build a miniature Iron Man army to defend the earth from all the villains and finally give the world a dose of billionaire genius.

"How can you do that if you're not even here?!" The strawberry blonde had yelled her last thought by mistake, eyes suddenly opening as she finally let the anger and frustration of it all out and getting to her feet, without really registering what she was doing as she grabbed for the only photograph frame that he kept on his desk, of course a photograph of himself as she glared down at it, his smirk looking straight back up at her: "How am I supposed to do this?!" Pepper asked the image, still unable to quite control herself as she spoke, accusing the photograph: "How am I supposed to be a mother and run the company and everything else?! Didn't you think about me? Didn't you think about what this would do to me? Or was the whole world revolving around Anthony Howard Stark again? It does what you want it to do when you want it to do it?"

Pepper paused, her breathing sharp and painful as she readied herself to carry on, knowing nobody could hear her pain: "You've left me here to be a mother without even thinking about it, but I bet you think I can do it, you always thought I could do everything. Well sorry to inform you Mr Stark but I'm not one of your superhero friends."

Her hands were shaking as she kept talking; never taking her gaze from the image that was offending her so deeply: "I'm not a miracle worker, I'm just a woman. Just a 36 year old woman that's had her entire life fucked up by you from the moment she walked out of college and started working for you, Stark. I just had to fall for you like everyone else and now I'm screwed! And it’s all your fault." Pepper paused for the final time as she gazed into his eyes, trying to remember where this photograph came from.

"You got me pregnant and threw me away like any other piece of trash."

She took a deep breath before letting the last words go, loathing herself for her own feelings:

"I hate you!"

With her last words she lost her grip on the frame, letting it slip through her fingers and crash to the floor, landing on the edge and shattering the glass in one drawn out movement. The shards spilt across the wooden floor as she made a grab to rescue it, the logical part of her brain kicking back in when she realised what she'd just done, she remembered that photo. She'd taken in on their first real date, despite the fact it had been a complete disaster and rained all over every plan they'd made and both back-ups.

The glass dug into her fingers the moment they met, splattering her blood into the mess of wood and paper she'd already made. Reeling away Pepper backed up, leaning on the wall for a moment as the hormones calmed down, watching in horror as the blood trickled down her fingers, landing on the destruction as her contribution to it. She'd grabbed for the door and left before she could think about it, leaving the red to streak across the photograph buried in the shards, staining the smile.


	8. Chapter 8

The stinging in her fingers was making her cringe as she manage to escape the office, cradling her right hand to her as she checked it, there were lacerations across her palms and her fingertips, weeping red down her hand. Pepper had never been too keen on blood, and the sight of her own was making her panic, the pains in her stomach seemed to sympathise and pounded, cramping up her legs and her chest.

She would have probably made it to the bathroom undisturbed if she'd been concentrating, gaze still intent on her hands Pepper collided with two of her staff, losing her footing and landing on her ass in surprise.

"Pepper!" The slight Russian hint to her accent gave away the redhead’s identity as the strawberry blonde looked up, surprised to see her and the blonde woman standing a little way behind her, her hands full of paperwork and her long hair scraped up into a ponytail on the top of her head. Since the events of Natasha's last term spent working at Stark Industries she hadn't set foot inside the building, Pepper couldn't help the smile at the sight of such a familiar face, she needed it. Pulling her knees up she tried to force herself to get up off the floor, suddenly aware of the blood on her hands again as she ignored the hand Natasha offered.

A few seconds later and she gave up, cursing herself as she forced the tiny shards of glass deeper into her skin and wiping blood across her knees. The two women above her exchanged a completely confused look before grabbing the ginger, helping her to her feet.

"Bobbi, Medical kit, in the office we just came from under the desk." The redhead muttered to the blonde, glancing at the blood on her old bosses hands. Only once the other SHIELD agent was well out of earshot did she turn on the secretary. "What happened?" Natasha asked as she righted her, taking note of the dark circles under Pepper’s eyes and how pale she looked. Not daring to let go of her arm as her gaze fell downwards, pretending she was checking the other woman over as she scanned her body.

From what Agent Romanoff could see, maybe Fury had been right to demand they check on her.

_"Romanoff! Morse!" Maria Hill’s voice was sharp as always as it cut across the meeting room, stopping the glaring match two of SHIELDs finest agents were having across the table whilst the reason for it took no notice, far too pre-occupied pretending he didn't exist. The love triangle that had formed between the three agents was common knowledge to everyone in the system, which was why Maria was highly confused by this latest scheme of the director’s, not only to send Barton and Morse on a mission together, but to send Romanoff with them? In her opinion in sounded like a suicide wish, especially to send them to Stark Industries of all places, after the trouble with the Avengers had settled she'd hoped she'd never have to have anything to do with the billionaire idiot again. Finally managing to gain the attention of the two women she handed them their files, settling her hands on her hips as she watched for a reaction._

_It was almost in sync, complete disgust, quickly followed by horror and a slight smirk that pulled at Natasha's lips as she glanced at Barbara. Before either of the females could voice their thoughts Maria cut across, interrupting their thoughts again: "After the incident involving Stark and the unidentified threat, Virginia Potts has become a concern of SHIELD. There is belief that she will be the next target of Stark’s attacker, and she needs protection. The three of you will become employees for Stark Industries for the foreseeable future, to act as liaisons, gather information and regain her trust, as well as protect the company."_

_The silence fell again when she finished speaking, all three agents thinking exactly the same thing:_

_"Why does she need all three of us?" Clint asked before either of the women could, turning his gaze on Maria: "And why us three exactly, couldn't you just send someone else? And he's been under for two months anyway, what does she need us for now?"_

_The agent had been expecting these questions, sighing a little as she pulled several sheets of paper from her own folder, spreading them across the meeting room table in front of them "These are her bank accounts and purchase history from the last two weeks." Bobbi grabbed for the nearest, scanning it curiously, the list was slowly filling up with pregnancy kits and books, as well as more chocolate that should be humanly edible and new clothes. She paused, scowling at the list as she thought it through; Natasha seemed to be doing exactly the same._

_Barbara Morse didn't even know this woman, Pepper Potts was the irritating ginger woman from the TV that was always dealing with Stark Industries trouble and generally wiping up her boss’ mess. The 19th agent of SHIELD had been working with other people in other places for the past year, and had missed out on, as Clint put it, all of the fun. They'd brought her back here after Starks little accident, forcing her to meet her irritating ex and his new plaything. Somehow since that moment they'd thrown a few sparks back in the thing that used to be their marriage, but this mission didn't sound like the best idea._

_"She's pregnant?" Natasha asked, voicing everyone's thoughts, as she rounded on Maria, mildly offended that she didn't know anything about it. In all honesty she'd been under the impression that she was friends with Pepper Potts._

_"We're not sure yet." Maria confessed, sighing a little: "We need you to find out, which is why we're sending you in. If she is she'll be emotional and emotions are dangerous in high level situations."_

Emotions were certainly not something Pepper was short on right now, Natasha decided as she forced her to sit down, taking the medical kit from Bobbi and opening it. The three women were in Peppers own office, with the door locked and the ginger woman hiccupping away her tears as she let them help her.

"What happened?" The blonde had asked before she could stop herself, leaning on the desk with a scowl as she gazed at the strawberry blonde woman, watching her curiously.

"Who is she?" Pepper asked Natasha at exactly the same time, cringing as Natasha poured alcohol over her hand, disinfecting them.

"Barbara Morse, She's a SHIELD agent." Romanoff explained with distaste, retrieving the tweezers to pull the shards of glass from the ginger’s hand, making her whimper in pain and surprise as the stomach cramps joined in, it was almost as if everything had to hurt at once! Instinctively she wrapped her arm around her stomach, causing the other two to raise their eyebrows and exchange a glance.

Pepper noticed them and blushed, her head suddenly forcing to the front of it a thought she hadn't had in a few days.

She needed to tell someone.

All thoughts of the blood and the mess forgotten her gaze shifted from Natasha's face to the new woman’s, both of them pulling exactly the same expression. The two agents sighed almost in sync; the silence staying until the redhead had finished with her hands, glad the little bit of medical training on field had other uses. Stepping away from Pepper she scowled, standing next to Bobbi and watching her old boss as she looked away, concentrating her gaze on her knees.

"Miss Potts…" Agent Romanoff began, unsure how to say it. Pregnancy was not something she'd ever been through or known anyone who'd been through, it was an issue that was quickly hushed up and removed from SHIELD, it wasn't acceptable in her line of work.

"Are you pregnant?" Bobbi asked before Natasha could stop her, causing Pepper to look up in complete horror and shock. After one too many missions going wrong due to nobody asking exactly what they needed to know (and the chance to rile the woman beside her) she’d decided it was just better to get it over with.

It felt like someone had just hit her over the head with it, the strawberry blonde reasoned as she glared at Agent Morse, almost certain there was something in the SHIELD code about not being so blunt. So obviously SHIELD suspected her, which meant she'd been seen, or someone had scanned her when she was sleeping or something else crazy. But why did they need to know if she was or wasn't? They'd been useless since Starks accident, taking no interest in her.

Did the fact they were here mean she was in danger?

The confusion became anger and the anger become fire as her expression hardened: "No." She stated bluntly, getting to her feet: "And if there was any possibility I was it would be nothing to do with you. Leave. Now."

Her last words were a command rather than a question, and the two seemed to take it as such, scarpering before anything else went wrong.

As soon as she knew they were gone, Pepper grabbed for paper and her pen, collapsing in the chair and doing the only thing she could think of, scribbling another letter to the cause of all this trouble. Right now, she missed him more than ever; at least he'd have known what to do.

Dear Tony,

I'm sorry I shouted.

I just can't do this on my own. I don't want to. I want you back.

You were always my idiot. Mine.

My Billionaire Genius Playboy philanthropist.

I hate you so much.

You swore you wouldn't leave me.


	9. Chapter 9

The newest members of Stark Industries were settling well to the best of Peppers knowledge, now she knew of Natasha and Bobbi's existence she'd stopped trusting her own workers. For the millionth time that day she found herself looking behind her. They wouldn't have followed you here, she reasoned with her own mind, sitting down on the edge of their bed, kicking off her shoes. This is your bedroom, honestly Virginia, you'll drive yourself insane.

In all honesty she hated knowing they were there, and she hated the thought of SHIELD interfering again, every time they did things went wrong. And after that blonde idiot’s outburst it was all too obvious they suspected her, what would they do if she told them? Probably want to take the baby from her in the name of science or in case something was wrong with it, after all, it would be the child of a so-called superhero. Protectively she wrapped her arms around her stomach as she fell back on the bed, gazing up at the celling.

There were so many memories associated with this position, the strawberry blond mused, running her free hand thorough her hair, all those nights spent in his arms, through everything they'd been through together, right back to when their messy relationship was nothing more than casual sex, initiated by her when she needed it.

The kiss on the roof had been the very first time he'd moved on her, the very first time he'd ever swept her into his arms and loved her. Pepper had never quite been able to work out if that had been a spur of the moment thing or if he'd been planning on that kiss for weeks, even the fact that they'd been caught hadn't bothered her for the very first time.

After that they'd become almost serious, he'd remembered her birthday for the very first time, she'd stopped cleaning away the trash from his room every morning and he'd started to notice her. It hadn't been anything massive to start with, bringing her caramel latté on a morning and signing off the paperwork before she'd asked him to. It was all the little things she'd always wished he would do. But over time it became more and more, the offers of dinner when they finished late at work, massaging her shoulders and the ballroom lessons for the two of them to make her feel less stupid when they had parties to attended.

They'd fallen into a relationship without really meaning to, their eyes were for each other and nobody else, kisses for each other and the day that he'd started joking about marrying her, Pepper had known he'd meant it. Without another thought she'd crawled up the bed, yanking one of the bedside drawers open and pulling another letter from it. She'd never managed to say it so she'd written it; she'd written to ask him to date her a little over a year before today, hiding the note in his birthday card before she'd left on a business trip to England.

Secretly she'd always wish she could have seen his face the day he opened that letter, but to her complete delight he'd written back to her within the day.

And she'd kept it.

Pepper pressed her love letter from Tony Stark to her lips, closing her eyes for a second to thank him for it again, gazing down at the handwritten words she held; it was strange to even possess this much of his handwriting. For once the stomach pains settled, seeming to lull as she ran her fingers over the page, reading it for the millionth time since his accident:

'In regards to your latest letter and my card I couldn't have been more surprised. For the last 12 years you have been a most reliable assistant I have ever hired and you truly know me like no other, not even JARVIS. I'm not one to write love letters either so I suppose this suits us really, this is a Tony-Stark-attempts-to-explain-himself sort of letter.'

The first few lines always brought a smile to her lips as she settled back down, letting herself imagine he was reading it to her, his voice was always so clear in her head. Her free hand resting on the bump as she forced herself not to cry, the letter in her hands was the most honest thing she'd ever heard him say to anyone, and it had all been to her.

'I could go on forever about how much you nagged me to do stuff and everything that makes you, you but in all honesty I want to say that I want to accept your offer , I was never going to say no. I guess it was the case that I could never really ask you because I never knew how to. I can talk to reporters, I can talk to the board of directors but I just couldn't talk to you about me loving you.

I'm sorry it’s taken 12 years to tell you this but…Pepper Potts, will you be the girlfriend of Anthony Howard Stark?

Your hopeless boss and hopeless lover,

Tony Stark'

His last word were the ones that meant the most, it was the first time he'd ever called himself hers. Pepper couldn't help but love hearing him say that, after all those years of him belonging to everyone else and he'd finally become hers and hers alone. 

Carefully folding the letter up again she pressed it to her lips, prolonging the contact and making the same wish she'd been making for weeks on end. It seemed like the more time he was away the more she was falling in love with him all over again, and it hurt. Right now she'd have given anything to throw her arms around his neck and hold him close to her for the rest of her life, she didn't want to let go of the most fantastic thing in her life.

Before the tears could swell and ruin the love letter Pepper crawled over to hide it away again, reaching for the drawer she caught sight of a brown backed file sitting on the top of it, the SHIELD logo emblazed across it like a badge of honour.

That didn't belong there.

As soon as her letter was hidden away safely she reached for it, trying to ignore the sinking feeling inside her and the violent protest from her stomach. Biting her lip she flicked it open, eyes widening in horror when she realised what it was.

….

Usually Clint Barton was too busy with his social life and his newfound group of friends, as well as the more interesting SHIELD missions to actually attempt to do what he was trained for.

Getting the files into her room hadn't exactly been difficult, especially since Pepper had been staying in Avengers Tower for the past few weeks. Despite the fact Agent Coulson had almost insisted he should hand over the file in person he hadn't had the heart to do it, one read through of the classified documents whilst the women had been busy and they'd almost confirmed everyone's worst nightmares.

Virginia Potts had been the distraction that had caused Anthony Stark’s accident.

The mission SHIELD had sent Tony on really hadn't been anything important, and the last thing anyone had expected was the attack. Clint had only been following him out of pure boredom. Even now they couldn't work out exactly where that monster had appeared from, throwing itself from seemingly nowhere into Iron Man's path, Hawkeye hadn't even bothered to panic, knowing that shooting it away would have relived his presence and alerted SHIELD to the fact he'd wondered off again.

On any normal day Tony would have just blasted it out of the way and taken all the credit for saving New York from an evil creature in delight, but just as he'd looked ready to attack suddenly he'd stopped still.

Clint had just presumed it was some kind of stupid Stark attack plan.

He'd never expected the thing to land a direct hit on Iron Man, knocking him clean out of the sky and crashing into the building opposite. Within seconds the encounter had become a complete disaster, and his cover was blown before he'd pulled the first arrow from behind his back.

But that report made it all make sense; He'd stopped for her phone call.

Stopped for her.

Love really was a dangerous, childish game if it could reduce even the great Tony Stark to that, Natasha had pointed out to him when she'd been informed of what really happened.

Hawkeye had just looked over at his Mockingbird with rather an embarrassed smile.

But right now he was hiding in the bottom of the wardrobe, the door open just enough so that he could watch Pepper's reaction to the file in her hands. He'd had every intention to get the hell out of there before she could find it, but the ginger had come back earlier than he thought, and the last place he'd ever want her to catch him was in her bedroom.

The sight almost broke his heart.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is the point at which the story starts to deviate from the plot of Dear Tony. From now on you're better off treating them as two different stories. I hope you enjoy! You'll need the tissues again for this.

Pepper was almost choking on her own emotions; the words on the pages in her hands couldn't be real, life with him wasn't that easy, it never had been and she'd always prayed it never would be.

He was Iron Man; he was a superhero for god’s sake, just because his idiotic girlfriend called him on a whim to apologise for another stupid argument couldn't be the reason he lay in a coma. The tears she was holding back were going to force themselves free and she knew it, collapsing back into the pillows as her body started to sympathise, the bump was in as much distress as she was by the feel of it.

For all these weeks she'd wondered what exactly had happened, but now she knew the truth, after his text she'd tried to call him, partially to scold him for missing the meeting and partly just to tell him she loved him.

When he hadn't picked up she'd just assumed it was nothing, assumed he'd just missed her phone call and returned her attention to her meeting.

But it hadn't been, he'd been trying to answer her when he'd been attacked.

Finally letting her tears fall, Pepper pulled one of the pillows down into her arms, nuzzling into it to try and stem the water that was ruining her makeup, the cramps inside her sharpening into knives that were trying to tear her apart. It seemed like every time she let herself get emotional what was inside her joined in, personifying the pain.

In some ways, Pepper reasoned with herself, it would have so much more simple if the last thing she'd ever said to him was that she loved him, or that she would be there for him, or that he was the most amazing man in the world to her and that she'd always been so much more than his PA, and felt like so much more than just a friend to him, She'd loved him so much more than she'd ever told him.

But she hadn't, of course she hadn't. They'd been arguing before they'd parted ways and she'd done nothing but shout at him, Tony had made her cry when she'd turned to leave him to his work, marching off once he'd pulled his headphones back over his ears, taking no notice of her. All she could think in that moment was how much she hated him, hated his attitude to work and to her constant attempts to make him run his own business!

It had been one of those horrific moment when she'd toyed with the idea of leaving him, was it really worth this much pressure. "I never meant what I said….I didn't….I wouldn't ever leave you….I was angry at you and stressed and I didn't mean it." She whined, nuzzling into the pillow and closing her eyes, letting herself pretend for a moment it was him.

Before she could slip into her depression the door was gently pushed open, making the strawberry blonde jump almost off the bed in complete surprise.

"S-sorry!" Captain America looked almost completely ashamed of himself, tucking his hands behind his back as he looked up at her: "I didn't realise you were in here Mam, Miss Romanoff asked me to look for Mr Barton and she said he might be in here… he was supposed to deliver the report on Mr Stark’s accident." Pepper noticed the intensity of his gaze as she wiped her eyes, accidently knocking the files to the floor. The SHIELD emblazoned papers spread across the carpet, almost spelling out the reason for her tears.

"I got it." She indicated the mess sadly: "He shouldn't be in here Steve; I don't know why he would be. These were on the cabinet…" She glanced around in curiosity, trying to distract herself from the pain in her stomach. The room was in the exact same state it usually was, minus a scattering of discarded underwear and paperwork, but if he had found his way in here then it would be exactly like it should be, that was his job after all: "If he was…" She announced to the room, looking around: "He'd have the sense to get out of her before I d-" Whatever she was about to say was lost in as the pains flared. Before she knew what was happening her vision almost went white again as her lower body started to burn, wrapping her arms tight around her stomach and whimpering in horror at the shock.

Usually these pains happened when nobody was looking! And the man in front of her looked almost as scared as she felt, without really thinking about it Pepper held both of her hands out to him, desperate for some help.

"Are you okay?" Steve asked awkwardly as he let her pull him onto the bed beside him, tightening her grip on his hands suddenly as the pains increased, trying to tear her apart from the inside again.

"M-mhm… It'll stop in a moment." She whimpered, almost collapsing onto him as she clung to his body, glad of the comforting hand he'd placed on her hair. They stayed like that for a while, Pepper struggling between pain and tears as her body refused to calm down.

The pains were more intense than anything else she'd ever felt, like something screaming inside her body as it tore her apart, it was only through sheer determination that she managed not to scream herself.

The blonde couldn't help but feel sorry for the woman holding onto him, since last night the other Avengers had been informed of Natasha, Clint and Bobbi's discovery. When he was younger, she and Stark would have had to have been married for that to have even been a possible thought in either of their heads. When he'd mentioned it to the others they'd looked ready to burst from how sweet the sentiment was, they'd been pulling almost the exact same expressions that Tony used to pull over him when he'd learnt something about the modern age.

_But he and Tony were a completely different story._

_Pepper had been away on a business trip when it happened._

_A messy, boozy, lust filled accident that they really should have told her about, that night had never been one Steve had regretted, even the morning after when he'd woken up struggling to walk with Stark still collapsed on top of him._

_From the moment they'd pulled away from each other Steve had been certain he'd just been used, somehow it hadn't really surprised him. He knew Tony’s reputation and of course he'd fallen prey to it._

_They'd never spoken of it since._

_In all honesty Steve had almost been trying to avoid Tony, unable to get the feeling out of his mind every time he watched Tony with Pepper. He had been horrible the one time he'd wondered what it would be like without her._

_Had he felt anything towards him or had it just been sex, and nothing more?_

_Now he'd never really know._

Apparently it was almost normal for a single woman to bring up her child on her own. Shaking his head a little he banished that thought, not liking the idea of Tony not waking up any more than the ginger he was hugging. There was nothing to prove that she even was really having a baby yet, apart from a few lewd reports form Clint about the sight of her in her underwear, and the outburst from yesterday when she'd been asked. Even if it wasn't a baby, she was defiantly having some sort of pains.

Steve had been about to say something when he'd detected the movement behind him, catching sight of the reason he was in the room and shooting him and irritated glare, obviously Clint had chosen the moment when he couldn't reprimand him for his stupidity. 

"Steve…" Pepper's voice interrupted him as she pulled away a little, the confirmation from earlier just seemed to agree with what she'd been thinking for the past month, someone needed to know what was going on: "Can I tell you something?"

"Of course…" He couldn't exactly refuse her, especially when looking around would mean she'd catch sight of the other idiot in the room. Clint froze, listening in curiously.

Steadying herself the strawberry blonde pulled away properly, gazing into his eyes as she took a deep breath.

Pepper couldn't go on without telling anyone.

The pain was too much.


	11. Chapter 11

Before she could get the words out the world went black, collapsing in on itself and dragging her down with it.

"Pepper!" Clint couldn't remember the last time he'd moved that fast, diving behind the ginger to catch her as she collapsed, whatever she'd been about to say lost in the silence. Steve still had hold of her arms as between the two of them they lay her back on the bed, completely confused.

"What happened?" The captain asked, glancing over at the other as he straightened.

"No idea…" Clint muttered, perched on the edge of the bed next to the ginger, watching her as he pulled her wrist onto his lap, pressing two fingers against it, checking her pulse: "She's not dead?"

Steve’s gaze narrowed a little at his comment, crossing his arms over his chest, about to say something when the woman between them groaned, blinking awake and gazing up at the celling: "Oww..." Pepper whimpered, immediately moving to sit up, her arms protecting her stomach, cradling the source of the continued cramps, not even caring about the two men in the room with her. Everything hurt, her stomach complaining almost as much as her head, she'd been out less than a minute.

"Morning!" Hawkeye teased, gently placing a hand on her chest and pushing her back down, forcing her to stay lying on her bed as Steve left the room, heading off to find the doctor in the building: "What was that about? You sick or something?" As usual he was trying to make her smile, keeping the concern as far out of his voice as possible, Virginia looked ill, even he could work that out. She was white as a ghost and every time she moved she was cringing in pain, looking ready to cry. Gently he stroked his hand through her hair, not taking his gaze from her, usually she'd have pushed his hands away by now, but Pepper was being unusually accepting of his attention as she tried to calm herself down, not daring to move her arms from protecting her body.

The strawberry blonde stayed silent as the third man came into her room of that day, glancing down at her with a sigh. Usually Bruce Banner stayed out of the way, especially of Pepper Potts and her ability to cut most men in half with just a look. The big guy had never been exactly keen on the woman, she annoyed him. But right now she looked more like a kicked puppy than hell on heels, curled around and hiding from most of the world.

"Miss Potts?" The doctor crossed around the room, sitting on the other side of the bed and waving away Agent Barton, watching the woman curiously.

"Mhm?" She muttered, looking up at him before suddenly realising who it was, trying to pull herself upright again as she quickly retracted her hands, out of all the Avengers, he was probably the most likely one to have worked out exactly what was going on. He may not be a medical doctor but Pepper was still reasonably certain he'd have some ideas: "Doctor Banner…"

He scowled a little as his hands found her shoulders, pushing her down again: "The others say you fainted…" Bruce muttered, trying to engage her in some sort of conversation as he visually checked her over. She looked shattered, but that was almost normal for her: "Anything hurt?"

"My stomach…" Pepper complained before she could stop herself, glancing up at him: "And my head, and everything else."

"When did you last eat?"

"This morning."

"Sleep?"

"Last night? I think?" She scowled, still gazing up at him from where he'd forced her to stay: "It’s probably just stomach ache… I'll have eaten something bad."

"Food doesn't make you pass out." The scientist pointed out, shifting a little further up the bed and gently leaning over to place his hands on her stomach before she could stop him; his touch was on her for barely a moment before she'd panicked, pushing him back at bolting upright, and backing away on the bed from him.

"Don't do that!" She hissed, wrapping her arms protectively around herself again, glaring at him as the thing inside her tuned over, complaining angrily at the touch.

"Sorry… Didn't mean to hurt you…" He muttered, running a hand awkwardly through his hair, pretending he knew nothing still. The brief contact and her reaction had confirmed his suspicions, as little as he knew about women it was almost obvious, she was pregnant. So Barton hadn't been wrong about his suspicions, Pepper Potts was having Anthony Stark’s child. Resting his head in his hand he gazed at her, trying to calm his blood pressure.

_Their little incident had been a surprise, he and Tony had just managed some massive breakthrough, it had been something between terror and delight when the lab didn't blow up. With grins to match each other’s they'd crawled out from behind the protective screen, covering the lab in two paces and grabbing the vials._

_"Bazinga!" Stark had laughed, brandishing the test tube he was holding, making some reference to some awful American TV program that he'd subjected Bruce to over the past few weeks._

_"It'll explode if you keep agitating it." The other scientist muttered, rescuing his experiment: "you're more dangerous with it than the fire was…" He hadn't even noticed Tony’s eyes on him as he crossed the room again, replacing the vials in another rack. The older man was behind him before he knew what he was doing, Tony’s arms where around his waist and nuzzling into the back of his neck._

_"I could be more dangerous…" Stark muttered, licking his lips with a smile, lowering his hands a little. Bruce hadn't been expecting that, but he wasn't going to push the other man away: "…how else are we supposed to celebrate such a development?"_

_Whatever happened next was a fantastic memory, one than hurt to recall but felt so good. It was only once it was slightly too late (they'd collapsed in Tony’s bed, completely naked and reasonably sure they'd be sore in the morning), and the thought of Stark’s girlfriend had suddenly passed through his mind._

_"Tony…" He groaned, glancing up at him: "Where's Pepper?"_

_"No idea…" The older man groaned, stroking his hands through the other hair, keeping him close: "…Not here? I think she's working somewhere…"_

He still wasn't quite sure where the strawberry blonde had been than night, but neither Tony nor her had mentioned it since: "I think you've got a stomach infection." He pushed up off the bed, crossing his arms over his chest: "Rest up and drink lots of fluids. It should be gone within a week."

The two of them held eye contact for a little while, both of them knew it was a lie. He'd figured her out and she knew it.

Doctor Banner turned to leave, biting back his feelings: "You really should go to the hospital Miss Potts, there's something wrong if it hurts that much. You can't hide the amount of pain you're in for much longer."

Pepper looked away, closing her eyes: "I can deal with it… I can do this on my own. I don't need anyone."

He'd almost felt when she spoke again: "He's left me." The words hurt, it was the very first time she'd managed to accept it, the very first time she'd told anyone what she really thought.

"I don't want anyone else’s help."


	12. Chapter 12

Bruce may have suggested a week off, but Pepper couldn't bring herself to do it. She trusted him not to tell anyone, and considering the lack of reaction from the others he hadn't. No matter how she felt, no matter how hard it got, she was still working as the CEO of a multibillion dollar company, and that came with its own duties. According to the calendar in her office, Christmas was approaching far too quickly for her liking.

Christmas meant the Maria Stark Foundation Winter Ball, which she disliked the idea of just as much as the baby inside her did. The moment she picked up the invitation to the do, her stomach turned over, almost as if it was trying to tell her something. Scowling down at it in frustration she returned her hand to its usual place, looking down at the bump hiding underneath her dress: "Shush…." Pepper tried not to let the pains bother her again, they'd become almost normal to her now. Every morning she was waking up with them and they never stopped hurting "It’s okay… Mommy’s here…" The words felt hollow on her lips, every time Pepper let herself even consider the thought of being a mom it hurt.

She'd be on her own, she hadn't been to the hospital in almost two weeks, and she couldn't bring herself to see him again, to watch him sleeping. The dim light of the arc reactor was the only way she'd known he was alive. There was also a slight part of her that worried that going near the hospital was a bad idea, letting herself go into a place full of medical professionals that would probably take one look and know exactly what was wrong.

Every book and every line on the internet was telling her the same thing Bruce had told her, she needed to talk to a doctor, the pains were wrong.

Every word she read seemed to tell her the same thing, seemed to insist upon it, she was going to lose that baby. Something was going to go wrong. And it was going to break her heart.

She wasn't having that.

Pepper Potts was not going to lose the one part of Anthony Stark that was still hers.

She missed him, missed everything they'd been through together.

Curling her knees back up to her chest she cradled the bump, closing her eyes and dropping the invitation back on her desk, letting her mind wonder.

_This time not so long ago had been so important to her, it had been when they'd finally managed to go public. Most of the world had suspected them but neither of them had ever confirmed it to be true, somehow, after weeks of planning and praying and Tony actually going shopping for her for once. (He’d managed to get it right too!)_

_Pepper could still remember the afternoon it had happened, half past five on the Friday afternoon and they'd held the conference on the main steps outside the Stark International building, partly to stop her needing to worry about crowd control and the number of people in the room and partly because it was always a nice location for photographers and video cameras._

_They'd walked out of the main doors together, walking exactly in step as they usually did at these kinds of thing, Pepper cuddling the clipboard in her arms to her chest almost protectively. Of course there had been way many more people outside those doors than she'd expected, that had been almost a given. Obviously they all thought something amazing was going to happen, Tony took the crowds well, bowing and grinning as he pulled off his sunglasses, greeting the crowds with the usual gusto. It was one of his skills that Pepper was jealous of, his amazing ability to enjoy the press._

_Taking the stand he grinned, tucking the glasses in his pocket and smirking at them all: "Well thank you everyone for attending today I know this conference came out of the blue but this is an important announcement. Over the last few months there have been some rumours circulating among the press concerning my PA Miss Potts." At that tony glanced backwards, waving for her to join him: "They have been harsh and intrusive but some are true and we're standing here today to sort those out."_

_Pepper had to hold her nerves, and the horrible sick feeling him her stomach back, she managed to speak, trying not to stumble over the words she'd written: "As difficult as this is to do we need you all to listen to us, everything that's said today needs to be respected."_

_The crowds seemed to be surprised at the fact she'd piped up and said something, usually Pepper stayed silent until she had to stop him doing something completely stupid: " It's true that someone has come into her life and made her a happier woman," He looked over at her, smiling as his hand reached for hers in plain view of the press, Starks gentle touch was like fire, sending a current up her body. The strawberry blonde smiled back at him, it reached her eyes for once, lighting them up: "I couldn't be any more pleased to see her smiling for once." She wanted to laugh at his words, her grip tightening as the press leaned in as one, obviously hopeful: "I can reveal the name of this person in confidence but I won't have their names shamed or any more lies spread. If this happens you'll face the full force of Stark Industries." The last lines had been at her insistence, just as a warning._

_And now it was her turn to speak, he'd left the hardest part to her, of course. Taking a deep breath her spoke, smiling still: "As of about two months ago, Anthony Stark and myself have been dating. Yes, the rumours are true."_

_At that the press seemed to go mad, the camera flashes where enough to blind the couple as a cheer seemed to ring in the air: "The rumours are true and I’m very proud to confess that the two of us are currently living together and everything’s fine!" Pepper carried on, smiling at her partner._

_"It is very real and not a hoax. I am her lover." Tony carried on, grinning at her as she flushed deep red; those last words hadn't been in the script: "Me and Virginia Pepper Potts are an item."_

_"Tony!" she scolded quietly as the cameras went mad again, resisting the urge to stand on his foot in annoyance._

_"They love it…" Tony grinned back at her, stroking his fingers up over her wrist, making her shiver a little in complete surprise, the intimacy of the touch in public making her blush almost touch her ears._

_Removing her attention from him she turned back to the press, smiling at them before she spoke again: "Before anyone thinks anything, I’m not pregnant, we're not getting married and there's nothing that serious going on." It seemed Pepper wasn't allowed to keep her attention away from him for more than a few seconds before she found herself pulled around to face him, one of his arms on her waist and the other resting on her cheek, brushing the ginger curls off her cheek._

_His next few words seemed to be focused on her, the crowds behind her becoming a distance noise in the background: "She has been by my side for 12 years," Tony made eye contact with her, smiling gently at her as his touch on her cheek lowered a little: "and I've realised she is far more than just a simple PA to me." Peppers breath caught in her throat as she gazed at him, not even realising when the distance between their lips closed:_

_"I love her."_

_His last three words where barely a whisper as he kissed her lips, her eyes closing as the cameras flashed behind then. She hated PDA but for once she didn't care, the press could see this, the whole world could she how madly in love with him and that he loved her back._

"Miss Potts?" The voice made her jump; the blonde in the doorway to her office looked concerned, her mobile still gripped in one hand: "Your dress is here."

Pepper jumped in surprise, looking up at Bobbi in surprise: "O-oh! Well…" She smiled, forcing herself to her feet and the thoughts out of her mind: "Thank you, Miss Morse."

Throwing the feelings out of her mind she headed out of the room. No matter how she felt, she was still Virginia Potts, and real life had to carry on regardless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any confusion about the chapters back there, This fic is being beta-ed and posted here from ff.net by mystmoon and she managed to post chapter 11 twice by accident. Sorry again for any confusion caused.


	13. Chapter 13

The Helicarrier had been quiet, business as usual, as much as the business of hiring assassins and sorting out supervillans could be.

"Director Fury." Maria Hill was usually the model agent, staying quiet and not questioning everything the boss of SHIELD decided to do, no matter how strange his ideas where. However, this decision of the past few months had been bothering her, sending three of SHIELD's finest on what was basically a babysitting mission for a fully grown woman who already had the Avengers to look after her, more than anything it had been getting on her nerves and causing her to send Agent Wilson on actual missions for once.

"Mhm?" He seemed slightly too busy with the paperwork in his hands to actually take any notice of the unimpressed woman stood in front of him.

She bit her lip slightly before finally getting the nerve to just say it: "Why did you send Barton, Romanoff and Morse to Stark Industries?"

The director finally looked up at her, letting out a slight sigh as he put down the paperwork, interlocking his fingers as he looked over at her: "Did you read the mission Brief, Agent Hill?"

"Yes, Of cours-"

"Where my reasons not perfectly clear in that?" He snapped, cutting her off before she could rant.

She scowled, crossing her arms over her chest as she looked at him: "Not really, We have enough internal informants and information to know every working of that company and members of SHIELD on the avengers that are obliged to tell us whats going on with them."

He rose from his chair, giving her a stern look before crossing the room behind her to lock the door. Marias eyes followed him, looking away quickly as he turned around: "Do you want to know the truth, Agent Hill?"

"Yes Sir."

"Stark's accident was not an accident. It was planned." The woman's scowl hardened, keeping her gaze away from her boss as he paced the room: "And we have reason to believe whoever attacked Mr Stark will attack Miss Potts and her Child. The Avengers are not exactly the most reliable people to protect her."

"That doesn't seem like a reason to send so many agents in at once Director."

"Agent Hill. Whoever this enemy is took out Iron Man in public, without leaving a trace as to who they where or how they did it. What chance do you think a pregnant woman has against a supervillan?" He asked, sitting down again: "SHIELD protect the public and their interests from criminals, and sometimes need to protect specific people for the interests of the public. Virginia Potts counts as one of those."

The dark haired woman continued to glare at him, she wasn't getting the answers she wanted, just more complete rubbish that sounded like a quote from the SHIELD handbook. Nick fury glanced up, noting her expression as he carried on: "That woman knows the internal workings of the Avengers and more about SHIELD she should, as well as the internal workings of a multi billion pound company, she's a gold mine of information that could easily be extracted from her by the right person. People who we believe will be in attendance at tonight's gala. Until we have eliminated the threat placed on her she will remain under SHIELD protection. Do you understand Agent Hill?"

"Yes Sir." She nodded, turning to leave before remembering the other reason for her visit: "The preliminary trials of the secret project where a success, Doctor Pym, Doctor Banner and our associates in Wakanda appear to have found a way to re-start the Arc Reactor Technology."

Director Fury couldn't help the slight smile that pulled on his lips at those words, and the feeling of relief that the scientists had actually achieved something.

"Begin the program immediately. We can't wait any longer."

Steve Rodgers never had liked keeping secrets; especially not secrets from people he cared about, and Tony Stark's girlfriend had somehow become one of those people. He been stood outside her office for the past ten minutes, feeling like a child about to enter the principal's office, not quite daring to knock in-case he disturbed her. The door swung open and he finally managed to steady his nerve enough to speak: "Miss Potts?"

His voice made her jump, she'd been lost in the trance from earlier, her mind still on the first case of PDA she'd ever been involved in. Turning on her heel she smiled, one arm still wrapped self-consciously around her bump: "Steve, How many times do I have to tell you to call me Pepper?"

Captain America couldn't even bring himself to make eye contact with her, deciding the floor was less likely to look like it had just had its heart broken. He hadn't really wanted to do this, especially not alone, Bruce should have been there but the emergency phone call from SHIELD had distracted him.

"What's wrong?" She couldn't help but ask, placing her hand on the blondes shoulder as her mind started to race, had it finally happened? Had Steve come to tell her the words she'd been dreading for the past few months? Was it over?

The bump seemed to agree with her, shifting and forcing the sick feeling up her throat again, making her cringe slightly as she tried to keep it down: "Steve?"

"I-I slept with Tony…" He finally muttered, not daring to look up.

The feeling of relief was probably what made her laugh, slipping her hand under his chin and forcing him to look up at her: "I know!"

"You… you know?" Steve asked, looking completely confused by her smile: "And you don't…?"

Pepper paused, looking up into his blue eyes: "No, I'm not angry at you, and I won't kill you for it, or anything else. Everyone thinks I expect Tony to be completely faithful to me, but I know he isn't, or at least he wasn't. I fell in love with a playboy, I never really thought even I could make that stop."

Steve still couldn't understand, something in his head was still confused by the thought of sex before marriage, but she looked completely calm about it, and he was reasonably sure she didn't have a weapon concealed somewhere on her body to murder him with.

"Steve," the Ginger woman sighed a little as she rested her hand on her bump, calming it down gently, still gazing at him: "I know he loves me, but I knew he was interested in you, and Bruce. I saw how he looked at you both. I've never expected perfect, I never even expected my relationship with him to last this long, I knew he wasn't prince charming from the start. So when he decided to see if he was gay or not, despite the fact I told him not to sleep with one of his friends, I let him. If this is going to last then I have to make him stop wondering about everything and everyone else."

Pepper stepped back, letting him go as she pushed her hair from her shoulders, acting like her usual businesswoman self: "I love Tony Stark more than anything else in the world, I always have and I always will" She turned away, heading down the corridor again: "and if he needs to sleep with the whole world before he decides he loves me back, then so be it, because I'll still be here waiting for him when its all over."

Tony Starks sleeping form wasn't exactly the most attractive thing in the world, but it was certainly one of the most peaceful. Which was the opposite of how Bruce Banner felt right now, he could already feel himself going green around the edges. Unpacking the last of the equipment from the rucksack he usually carted around. This project had been a secret, something they'd never expected to work, but the theory had made sense.

The reactor was Starks heart, so surely if they kick started that it would wake him up, like CPR with more charge.

Recharging his batteries. That's probably what Tony would have joked about the situation. If he could have had his own way Bruce would have had the body moved out of here and into the Labs, it would probably have been safer for all involved to do that, but since Director Fury's call, and the threat of an imminent attack on the Avengers (as usual) the final tests where going to have to be carried out here, there wasn't time to mess about.

The device was almost completely strapped on, the hospital wires pulled out and abandoned: "This had better work," Banner muttered, scolding the other man under his breath as he plugged the device into the wall: "you had better wake up."

He carried on talking as he worked, leaning over to unhook the life support machine to replace it with their own invention: "Or else." Ignoring the shriek from the machine as it flat lined, a single line running across the screen. The noise reminded him of Peppers screams when she'd found out. He chose to ignore it, slamming both shock pads onto Tony's chest, strapping the final two to his arms and stepping back, kicking the electric back on at the wall.

The noise didn't stop as he grabbed for the controls, taking on notice of the sound of running feet and panicking hospital staff already running up the corridors. Desperately trying to calm the big guy as he slammed down on it, closing his eyes as the green flooded in to meet him.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter has cleaned up a few loose ends and explained a few things, now, back to the story. If there are any medical professionals reading this I will apologise now if some of the facts are not quite medically correct, but this is based on a true story.
> 
> Thank you every single one of you for reading this. It means so much to think that anyone has taken any notice of my writing. Tissues at the ready!

She's almost made it down the corridor before her body decided it was time to protest again. She was out of the captains' eye line and knew he wasn't following. The tears she'd been fighting with since she'd finished reading threatened to pour down her cheeks. The pains in her abdomen where back, now she knew exactly where they where, jabbing into her like a sharpened knife that was igniting her insides. Pepper knew most of what she's just said was probably very stupid, but it was how she felt. Love was a strange thing; it never had worked for her like it worked for the women in those fairy tales. Love was the reason she had her bump.

Which was very insistent that she took some notice of it right now, the words she'd been reading not so long ago invaded her mind again. The feelings swelling inside her .

Every book and every line on the internet was telling her the same thing Bruce had told her, She needed to talk to a doctor, the pains where wrong.

Every word she read seemed to tell her the same thing, seemed to insist upon it, she was going to lose that baby. Something was going to go wrong. And it was going to break her heart.

She wasn't having that.

Pepper Potts was not going to lose the one part of Anthony Stark that was still hers.

Tony had been something that she'd been pushing to the back of her mind, but the plans for tonight just kept remanding her. This gala was just like the one from the night she'd worn that stupid blue dress and forgotten her deodorant. Now she thought about it, it really was typical that tony had chosen the night she felt like shit to take some notice of her. Secretly she'd know exactly who it was staring at her from across the room, and Pepper had known he was going to turn up. She'd never been able to stop him doing anything.

But when he'd ignored everyone else and crossed the room to her side, and the look on his face at the sight of her in anything but her work clothes had given her butterflies. She'd felt like a teenage girl getting cornered by her crush, and it had taken everything she'd had inside to stop herself blushing. He'd danced with her, and even though she couldn't dance it had been amazing just to be held that close for a few seconds. But she'd been grateful when he'd dragged her outside. The heat of the moment when he'd been that close to her, she'd felt it, and she regretted not kissing him.

But Pepper still hadn't quite forgiven him for leaving her standing on the balcony.

"Maybe…" She muttered to her bump, stroking it gently in a vain hope that it would calm down at her touch, that it would stop hurting her so much. Maybe that it would even move at her touch. Everything she'd read had terrified her, and the bump didn't move. It never had really moved like the book had insisted it should: "Maybe then you would have been around sooner…maybe it would have been different…We could have been a proper family…"

Biting back her tears at her own stupid thought pattern she pulled the usual medication from her bag, not even quite sure why she kept bothering with it. It didn't do anything for the pain or the heartache.

Her legs wanted to give way; this was the same corridor from all those months ago when she hadn't really known what was going on, or why her body was trying to tear her apart from the inside out. So much had changed since then.

Before this started Virginia Potts had known exactly what she wanted to be, and who she wanted to be. The girl that had spent all those years at college with a secret crush on the boy genius that was taking over his fathers company had known what she wanted out of life.

But the baby inside her probably wasn't even real. There was something inside her but it shouldn't hurt like it did. Pepper had just never wanted to accept that fact. And Steve had been a nice distraction for a few minutes from what was breaking her heart.

She needed a doctor but she felt like she knew what was going to happen. Why would it have ever gone right for her?

But right now, she had a job to do. The Maria Stark Foundation Winter Ball was going to happen and she needed to get herself sorted. As always, she could wait, she'd have to wait.

Her job came first, and this time he wasn't there to tell her to stop being so stupid and take some notice of herself. Tony had been doing that for years, making her take five minutes to joke that she'd work herself to death if she didn't go shopping. Pepper had stopped arguing when he'd pressed his debt cards in her hand with a wink and something about needing a bonus. He'd sent he on business trips that weren't real before, sending her to Cyprus and other beautiful places all expenses paid just to make her take a break.

All the little things like that had shown how much he loved her, that he'd taken a chance to think about her before they'd even started dating.

Pepper wanted to put of the thought of finding out what was really going on off for a little longer. If this was an Ectopic Pregnancy the books had made it all too clear what they where going to do to her. Surgery was the last thing she wanted to think about, and the reprimand that she'd get for leaving this for so long.

Putting all her thoughts and the logical part of her brain aside she headed for the room where she knew Bobbi would have left her dress and everything else for tonight. She was too caught up in her emotions to realise what she'd done.

Her phone was in her office still, along with the abandoned invitation for tonight's Ball. And it had been ringing non-stop.

The hospital had already left her 12 missed calls.

Bruce Banner had left 3 missed calls.

SHIELD had left a missed call too.

The fourth time the doctor called, he left a message for her, still surprised by the fact she hadn't picked up her phone: "Miss Potts, There's something I have to tell you."


	15. Chapter 15

Finally it seemed to be working, deep breaths and her eyes closed tight whilst she settled her mind. Tonight she had to do a speech. It was common practice at these events, for Pepper to stand there and thank everyone, explain about why they were having another gala and convince them all to donate copious amounts of money to the charity before the end of the night. Originally the job had been originally intended for Tony, but she couldn't recall a single year when he had done it. During her very first public appearance as his PA years ago, she'd discovered him too drunk on whiskey to stand up straight and half-forced him to let her, rushing to save the company's reputation before he climbed up there and started singing about how hedgehogs can never be buggered at all.

She couldn't help the slight smile pulling at her lips as they turned another corner, the almost fond memory calming her down for a moment, ignoring the pains in her abdomen for the millionth time. She could do this; there was nothing Virginia Potts couldn't do.  
...

Bruce Banner prided himself on one thing in particular, the ability to keep the green monster inside him, inside him. Over many years he'd learnt to stop at least minor things triggering him, like the specially adapted SHIELD hospital bay electronically exploding. Staying on the floor however was a very good idea, laying there in silence and listening to every creak of the building, the raindrops on the roof and the wind humming through the rafters. Despite the fact the place stank of gas and burning it was almost peaceful for a moment or two. This entire plan, all the methods and equipment had been created by Tony Stark for use on him and him only. Up until yesterday they'd lain dormant in a cupboard, useless and uninteresting and untested. Stark had always been very instant that you couldn't test them on anyone but him, and since he was the only one with a reactor and he wasn't dead, Banner would just have to trust him when he said they would work.

Shifting just enough to roll over onto his back Bruce started to concentrate on the ceiling above him, calming his breathing with every meditation technique he knew. Closing his eyes slowly he started to count, counting down the numbers in his head from where Tony had told him to start from. If the countdown reached 42 then it hadn't worked.

Could Doctor Pym, himself and their associates in Wakanda actually have managed find a way to re-start the Arc Reactor Technology? They'd only finished off what Tony himself had started, and nobody knew how the geniuses mind worked at the best of times. The only woman that had ever come close had been too busy crying herself to sleep every night to help. Pepper had no idea how much they'd been fighting to save his life for her, and the rest of the world. His attempt at calling her earlier had been futile and pointless, and probably made his own worry worse. Agent Hill had promised to call to, but he'd heard nothing from her, and nothing from anyone else at SHIELD.

Did Virginia have any idea what was going on?

…..

Taking the microphone she was handed, Pepper smiled, sweeping across the stage in her white ball-gown, it was one of those moments when Tony would have joked she looked like an angel off to threaten him to death. The crowd was the usual sea of expectant, almost sympathetic faces as she finally caught the eye of Tony's bodyguard from across the room and the American captain flanking him. Her hands were shaking despite herself as she held the device to her lips, nodding in acknowledgement at the thumbs up she was given by both men as Rhodey stepped up beside her, taking over the position behind her that Tony had been holding for the past few years, his hand on her shoulder as she started to speak. The speech was something she never struggled to do; the words were almost the same as every other year.

Pepper was about half way through the speech when suddenly the words turned to liquid in her mouth, collapsing back down her throat and blocking it as her body suddenly started to scream internally, as if the bump was trying to claw its way out. Violently, disgustingly hot pain was pouring down between her legs, bleeding red into the strands of white silk keeping her together.

….

The noises were faint, cutting into the slow, methodical counting that was going on in his head. The bleeping noises were so soft they could have almost been coming from a mouse. Dr Banner had to stop himself from getting too excited. The sudden rush at the thought this grand plan had worked was rekindling a dead hope from before the room collapsed.

That noise could only mean one thing.

It was an improvement on the flat line that had been echoing around the room for weeks on end.

Scrambling up from the floor Bruce cleared the floor in three movement, shoving debris and dust off the monitors to check them.

For the first time, there was a pulse. Faint and broken but it was definitely a heartbeat .The reactor started to burn with bright blue power, swelling from the centre of his chest. Tony had warned him this would happen. The reactor was rebooting itself, burning up as Anthony Stark's body stared to kick back into gear.

…...

Pepper screamed.

For the first time since this mess had started she was screaming vocally, the noises tearing through the room as her knees finally gave out.

Her three protectors moved as one, the crowds parting in horror at the sight of the blood destroying her dress and her reputation. The CEO of Stark Industries was on her knees and screaming blue murder, her arms wrapped around her stomach as the bump started to claw at her again, ripping her heart to shreds again as the pains tore her apart. Rhodey was on his knees in front of her, reaching to grip her hands, her shoulders, only to find them slapped back as she tried to move, her face contorted in pain.

"Pepper...Pepper look at me." Happy had cleared the way faster than Steve, overpowering his best friends protest and taking her in his grip, picking her up in one movement despite the stains and her screaming. The ballroom was clear of terrified people, the bosses and men that judged her and her company had run at the sight.

"W-where's Tony...?" She asked nobody in particular, tears and pain etched into every line on her face, grabbing her stomach as the monster tore at her again, tearing thought her gut from the inside out.

"He's not here... He's...He's gone..." The answer came from somewhere above her head as she dug her nails into the growth in her body, desperately tearing at it. The thing that had been destroying her life was trying to force its way out of her. And he wasn't there to stop it.

She couldn't do this anymore.

Suddenly her vision turned red, swimming in blood and fire and pure pain.

Pepper Potts fell limp in Happy Hogan's arms without another word.

…..

Bruce had his hand shading his eyes just as the reactor glare reached its peak; bright light flashing through the room for a split second before a very groggy noise broke thought the silence in the room.

A noise that fell from the open mouth of Anthony Edward Stark.


	16. Chapter 16

The fact that the first noise that Tony Stark had made in months had been a groan that had sounded something like 'fuck' and had somehow almost brought Bruce to tears was not something that either of them would ever mention. The tears had obviously been in the aid of science, Banner confirmed to himself as he watched what seemed to be a miracle pulling himself upright in the sheets, looking around at Bruce with a very familiar smirk plastered across his face: "Seen something you like Hulky-boy?" Stark teased, shifting and trying not to complain vocally about the stiffness in his legs: "Or did you finally notice that I really am a sex god?" He added, vocal strength slipping a little as he looked around, one leg dangling off the side of the bed, the other still tucked under the sheets.

Bruce had only just noticed his mouth had been hanging open, forming an almost perfect 'o' as he took in the sight of a talking, moving and somehow exactly the same as before Tony Stark. The science had worked; implanted deep in his chest was the reactor that Bruce had never seen him without, glowing a bright, vivid blue that seemed to be lighting up the room slightly.

"You not talking today?" Tony asked curiously, scowling as he forced his other leg to slip off the bed too, persuading himself to actually sit up, curling his hands around the edge of the mattress and keeping hold, not quite sure he dared to attempt to stand up: "Have I been out so long that I've missed such a major scientific development as Bruce Banner losing the ability to speak?"

"We thought you were dead..." The other man muttered in reply, finally regaining some motor functions and managing to walk over to him, ignoring the mess that the medical bay was in. Biting his lip hard he reached forwards, resting a hand on the other's shoulder, partly to check he was real and partly out of pure curiosity. The skin beneath his touch was warm and damp with sweat. But it was definitely real.

"I'm not?" Tony pointed out aloud, giving Bruce a confused look, resting his hand over the top of the other man's, holding it steady as he felt him shake a little: "Why would I be? I'm Tony Stark, I don't die. Thought we'd established that with the whole Loki issue..." His gaze faltered as he looked around the room, taking in the smoking devices and mass of broken machinery and spilled oil: "Did you hulk out in here? Pepper's going to kill you for ruining so much of our te-" Anthony paused, giving the room another once over with his eyes, pulling a face when he suddenly realised there was someone missing from their celebrations: "Where's Pepper?" He asked, turning an almost accusatory look on his friend: "She hadn't... How long was I out? Bruce, where is she?" Every hint of humour was gone from his voice, replaced by a tone that the other could only identify as panic.

But what could he tell him? How was he supposed to explain the mess of the past few months and the current state his girlfriend's body was in? How do you tell someone that the one thing they can't live without is probably in agony from a broken heart?

"I-I don't know..." He confessed honestly, looking rather ashamed of himself for not knowing something so important to Tony: "I think there's a gala on tonight or something...?" Bruce suggested, hoping that Tony would possibly remember something that he didn't know.

"Typical..." Tony muttered with a smile, memories of previous gala nights flooding back to him slowly, mind still groggy from sleep: "I'm gonna go surprise her..." He decided aloud, gripping the bed again and using it to push himself up, unsteady on his feet as he tried to take a few steps, body about fifty miles behind his brain as he started to make plans to surprise her.

"Tony! I need to run some tests... Check your brain and body still works... This is a medical miracle and I need to record the results..." Bruce called after him, springing to his feet and moving to stop the other man before he could get too far, the spark of scientific curiosity igniting suddenly in his brain.

Stark sighed, cocking his head back to look at the other man, propping himself on the door frame slightly, still not quite sure of his own body: "Fine. My name's Anthony Edward Stark, born April 4th. My parents were Howard and Maria Stark. I handed CEO-ship of my company Stark Industries to Virginia Patricia Potts, who I always call Pepper, last year. Social security numbers five, I live at Malibu Point with a load of bots and an integrated computer system called JARVIS that's based on our butler when I was a kid. I'm part of a team called the Avengers who kicked Thor's little brother's ass last year. Oh. And I'm Iron Man." He reeled off, turning around again to leave: "And my hands work fine. Peace, Bruce!" Tony called back, offering the other man a two fingered salute as he left.

The bravado was starting to wear off once he managed to escape the SHIELD building (avoiding about fifty highly confused young agents, a few high security doors and the laser testing room) then found (stole) a car from outside and used it to get back home. Tony had no idea where Pepper was, or who he needed to talk to to find her, presumably it would be a simple case of waking up JARVIS and asking him where she was, after he'd found something to wear, hospital scrubs weren't exactly befitting of a billionaire who needed to surprise his girl.

"Wake up, Daddy's home!" Stark called, voice laden with glee as he stepped over the front porch to the Malibu mansion, he'd been expecting the door to swing open as it usually did to a perfectly clean house, fire burning and his girlfriend's clothes still thrown across the back of the sofa from the misdemeanours the night before and her shoes where he'd fall over them. Tony was almost certain that Pepper left them there on purpose. One of the bots would be in the kitchen causing trouble and JARVIS would be already awake and reeling off a list that he'd only have to be reminded of at least three more times by the beautiful ginger-blonde pacing the lounge on her phone or fast asleep on the sofa, curled up under a blanket mid-way through catching up on Sex in the City or Desperate Housewives.

What he hadn't been expecting was the door to get jammed on the mountain of mail that was flooding the hall, and JARVIS not to respond. The air seemed thick with the scent of dust and dirt and something that Tony had only ever smelt in the washing basket when he'd forgotten to empty it for almost a year.

Just how long had he been out of it?

Before he could gather his thoughts his head started to spin again. Grabbing at the wall in panic, he tried to steady himself on his feet. He knew somewhere in his head that he shouldn't have come, he should have stayed in the hospital with Banner and let himself be prodded and poked, at least until his muscles had recovered, but it seemed the more he explored, the more worried he became.

Why was this place such a mess? Had she left him? Was there something going on that he didn't know about?

The floor decided to lurch again in a horrible, nauseous move to slap him in the face as Stark felt something grab for him, catching him with a very familiar bleeping noise, it was faint, like it hadn't been used for months, but he recognised it: "DUM-E?" Tony asked, still a few inches off the floor, gazing down at the dust he could easily write his name on. His question earned him a bleep in return, promoting the man's next curiosity: "Mind pulling me up buddy? The ground's a bit too close."

With an affirmative noise, he found himself on his feet again, his mechanical armed friend scooting backwards a little as if to look at him. Almost on instinct, Tony offered his hand, high-fiving him with a grateful smile pulling at his lips: "What are you doing up here? And where's JARVIS? Did U pour smoothies in him again?" The questions were falling from his mouth as he processed what he had seen, looking around at the house: "And haven't you been cleaning this place for me? Where's Pepper? Did she tell you not to or did you forget? Do I need to get you a new memory chip?"

The robot, if it could, would have shaken his head at him, making an almost sorrowful noise as it reversed into the house a little deeper, forcing him to follow him into the dust. The entire place was silent, the usual electrical hum in the background seemed to have been switched off.

The silence he could cope with, he could probably cope with the dust too if it wasn't for the mess. It was as if someone had shattered every single trace of his and Virginia's relationship, the photographs that usually covered the fireplace had been pushed off, the glass shattered across the floor, and her blankets had gone from the end of the sofa. It felt like the bot knew something he didn't. Tony suddenly realised as he ran, the lethargic feeling disappearing as he bolted up the stairs, slamming the bedroom doors open as he hunted, parts of his memory still patchy as he tried to remember which one had been theirs.

Finally he found it, the room was in the same state as the lounge, bed sheets ripped back and most of her stuff and his pulled from the wardrobes, designer clothes and shoes littering the floor, shattered glass and torn photographs tangled into the mess. What had happened? Had she left? Had they been robbed or attacked? Or had she done this herself? Tony knew he had to find her, it was the one thing he was clear on as he yanked his clothes from the mess, tearing off the hospital gown and running back down the stairs, trainers gripped in his mouth by the laces as he waved at the bot to follow him, taking the stairs down to the lab four at a time as he tried to think. The power was off, which was why JARVIS was offline, but the only people who knew how to do that were himself, Pepper and the bots. Jumping the last three steps he shattered the glass door with his elbow, sidestepping the mess and looking around the lab. With JARVIS offline the security for the house was nothing, which explained why he'd managed to open the front door and smash through the lab glass without any issue. Unlike upstairs, this place was clean, well, it was Tony's version of clean that nobody else understood, tools still abandoned exactly where he'd left them, and the other two bots powered down in one corner, limbs dangling sadly.

DUM-E caught up with him seconds later, having operated one of the maintenance lifts to get back down to the lab, only to be accosted with a screwdriver the minute Stark caught sight of him: "Did you do this?" He asked the bot, giving him a glare. The mechanical device just bleeped at him again, shaking rapidly in retaliation, waving at the mainframe casing for the household electrics.

He'd known that would be the answer, he reasoned as he pulled the casing open, grabbing the handle and slamming it upright again. The household systems kicked back in almost instantly, JARVIS seemed to be coughing as he spoke, low level lighting stammering back to life in the lab: "Welcome back Mr Stark, Your vital signs are low and displaying a distinct lack of iron and sugar. May I suggest that DUM-E create you a smoothie to return them to normal?"

"No. I want you to tell me what happened?!" Tony corrected him sharply, looking around the room as the light illuminated the Iron Man suits. DUM-E disappeared from behind him to greet his brothers who had come back to life in a cacophony of electrical noises.

"Mr Stark, my systems were deactivated by Miss Potts during her last visit fifteen weeks ago." The computer pointed out bluntly: "Until a system restoration has taken place, I am unable to offer a suitable answer to your enquiry."

"Where's Pepper?" He asked, not quite listening to the last answer that he'd been given, yanking on his shoes and giving the other bots an upside down salute, indicating that he'd at least noticed them.

"Miss Potts is attending the Maria Stark Foundation Charity Gala as the representative from Stark Industries; the event is being broadcast live on television if you would like me to provide a link, Sir."

"Yes!" Stark almost yelled, starting to pace the room in frustration as the flat-screen behind him started to broadcast some bleach blonde reporter's shrill voice through the lab as he picked up an abandoned piece of…something or other, he'd remember soon, fiddling with it as he tried to stay calm. He could just march into that gala and pronounce his resurrection and pull her into his arms and kiss her till she ran out of furious things to say to him about not staying dead and making her life easier? Couldn't he? Or should he wait and clean the place and get Happy to bring her here? Surprise her on the doorstep and finally ask her to be his always? No doubt by now the other Avengers were well aware by now that he was no-longer a cabbage and would give him a few days at least to indulge the love of his life? And it wasn't as if SHIELD were already on the doorstep accosting him and dragging him into custody to check he wasn't a skrull.

His pointless daydream was suddenly, sharply interrupted by the woman's words. Virginia Potts... Hurt... Emergency hospital...collapsed in a bloody mess...screaming... He couldn't even bring himself to turn around, back to the screen as the words poured from it, flooding the dusty air around him.

She was hurt.

Pepper was hurt and he hadn't been there to save her from her demons.

"JARVIS, deploy the mark seven and set co-ordinates for wherever Pepper Potts is, hack the emergency services if you have to." He ordered, already running as the armour clamped around his body, mind suddenly blind to any other thoughts but her, and her safety.

Whatever had happened to the house didn't matter, so long as she was okay.

Tony would never forgive himself if they turned into Romeo and Juliet.


	17. Chapter 17

They'd laid her to rest in a private room in the hospital, emergency surgery was a stressful procedure to carry out on her already destroyed body. Nobody was going to medically explain to her what had happened until weeks after the trauma, so for now, she was sleeping under the care of the two men in the room with her. It hadn't matter to either of them how much the medical staff had tried to shoo them away from her on the claim that they weren't supposed to be there. They both knew they had to protect her, or else they'd never be forgiven. The gala had turned into a disaster from the moment she'd started to scream, the possibility of more funding and resources had disappeared instantly, but it didn't matter. They'd gotten her out of there and into the care of the most qualified doctors in New York.

Neither man was speaking to the other, but both where thinking the same thing. Why hadn't they know what she was going through? How had they let her keep something like this to herself?

Tony's disappearance from her life had affected her much more than either of them had realised.

Sighing softly to himself Happy Hogan reached forwards and gently took her hand in his, reasonably certain that she wouldn't know he was doing it but the action made him feel slightly less useless, especially when Rhodey copied him. In her sleep, Pepper seemed to tighten her grip on both of them, expression relaxing a little.

From their little haven, none of them could hear the noise from downstairs. Ironman had just almost crash landed into the foyer of the hospital, sending patients and paperwork flying as he abandoned the armour, approaching the nearest, terrified member of staff to ask about the whereabouts of his girlfriend. Tony suspected the reaction he was getting probably wouldn't have been so bad if the press hadn't presumably been making such a fuss of the fact he was 'dead'. The staff where all behaving as if he was a zombie and staying as far away from him as possible.

Once the nurse in front of him had just about managed to stutter out directions he tossed her a wink and turned away, internally debating if it would have been much easier to just crash through the window or something?

He hated hospitals, they where huge, confusing and stank of bleach and death. But he had to find her. How was he supposed to live without the one woman he lived for? His hunt seemed to take hours, wondering through corridors like a lost student at MIT years ago.

Finally, somehow, he'd happened upon the right room, leaning up a little to gaze through the window, just to check the directions he'd been handed where correct. For once, he wasn't thinking about himself, but about the damsel sleeping in the hospital sheets, her hands wrapped into those of his two best friends. Was he going to do this right? How did you do this? He'd never had to reappear in anyone's life before, he made a habit of staying away once he'd been thrown out of it.

Maybe he should just turn around and walk away, maybe she was better off without him there to cause all this trouble. What had happened with her was going to be his fault, he'd already decided on that. Pepper was going to hate him for whatever had happened to her for not being there to protect her from it. Wasn't that what his job was supposed to be? He was her lover, her partner, her boyfriend and he adored her, and by now, he probably should have married her.

Tony had two options, walk away, and give up on her.

Or man up, and walk in there, and take whatever happened next.

Thats what true love was, right? Taking whatever came and holding her hand through all of it.

Biting his lip, he pushed the door to her hospital room open, making her two bedside accomplices jump about six foot in the air. The looks of complete shock at the sight of him would have been almost amusing if it wasn't for the situation. Stark had barley the time to question either of them about anything before they'd both left, seeming to ceremonially agree that it was better left the the sleeping woman to explain everything she'd been through since he'd disappeared from her life.

Tony had barley been in the room on his own for five minutes before he'd started to panic, just standing at the end of her bed and watching her hurt. She looked destroyed, not that she'd confess it to him, but her sunken eyes and pale skin gave it away, Pepper looked nothing like herself.

He'd broken her heart.

He'd never realised what it could really do, leaving her alone like that, after all those promises and nights together and affection. He'd thought about it before, only once or twice before the disaster, that maybe he should go. Maybe he deserved better than this, and maybe she did to, but watching her now, the pain etched into her cheeks, how could he ever have thought about that?

Anthony Stark hadn't even noticed the tears running down his cheeks until he lent down over her, brushing her messy ginger curls from her forehead, just... watching her. Was this what she's been doing when he was sleeping? Watching him and worrying like this? Nobody had actually told him if she was going to wake up or not. Or if this really was the end. Was it possible his the woman he had always through had an ice-cold heart and no emotions had going to die of a broken heart and he hadn't been there in time to save her?

"Pepper..." The words had slipped from his mouth before he'd realised, leaning down to rest his forehead against hers, burying his face in her hair and just inhaling the scent. She still smelt like an apricot: "Pepper don't do this... I need you... I'm so sorry I left you." If Stark could see himself now he had a feeling he'd probably want to be sick. He wasn't really into the whole over dramatic confessions of love at the best of times, and right now was probably one of the worst.

"I don't know what happened..." It seemed like he couldn't stop the words despite his own thoughts, still clutching her as his legs started to give way, tears dropping onto her face: "I don't care... Virginia... I love you... I know it sounds stupid and selfish but I do... I need you.." Somehow Tony Stark was on his knees beside her bed, her hand clutched in his as he watched her, tear-stained and worried: "You're not allowed to go.. I'm sorry. I'll give up, I swear, give up being iron man and just marry you if that's what you want me to do Gina..." The words seemed to wonder away as he pressed her hand to his lips, dropping his forehead against the sheets and trying to calm himself down, wishing he didn't feel quite so much like a badly acted lead character in a romcom: "Please don't leave me Pepper..." He managed to choke out between tears, finally giving up and letting himself come apart against her touch.

He'd been to caught up in his own emotions to notice the woman in the pile of pillows and blankets move, eyes slowly blinking open in shock at the sound of the voice above her. Pepper had already decided she must have died. She'd had to try and force herself to come to terms with that thought, that she might be on her own forever, her and...

And...

Screwing her eyes closed she slipped than hand that wasn't encased down her body under the covers, the pain had disappeared, replaced by a dull ache between her legs and inside her that she could barely feel for the medication being forced into her body.

Her bump was gone.

Virginia wasn't quite sure if it was a feeling of relief or heartache that suddenly washed over her. She'd lost it. The only small part of the man who'd stolen her heart was gone from inside her body.

But it seemed to have been replaced by him.

His voice was as crystal clear as she remembered it, insisting with her that he loved her, part of her was secretly enjoying the chance to listen to him confess everything she'd missed hearing him say for all these months. He loved her, he seemed insistent about that. Pepper wanted to open her eyes, wanted to throw herself into his arms, it didn't matter if he was real or not anyone. She'd lost the baby. The one thing she had been forcing herself to live for had been ripped from inside her before it could cause her any more pain.

How would she explain it to him? That she'd failed as a mom? She couldn't even do the one thing that women where made to do by nature.

Virginia Potts had lost Tony Starks baby.

Keeping her eyes closed tight she just laid there, letting the sound of his tears wash over her as she tried to think about it. If he was real, if that really was the man she loved holding her again then maybe he didn't need to know? Maybe she could find a way to cover up the truth until she knew what to do about it.

But he was going to notice that she was alive soon, he was going to realise and then probably panic and ruin the entire moment and all she needed to do was open her eyes.

They'd have to deal with what had happened. There was nothing else she could do about it. She had to know if he really was there against her again.

Holding her breath she reached out, hand suddenly against hair she recognized just from the feeling.

He was real.

Before she could think she'd sat up, eyes wide open and gazing at the sight of him kneeling at her bedside, shoulders shaking from the tears. Pepper had never seen him cry before, she'd never wanted to see it. And she never wanted to see it again. He looked as broken as she'd been for the past few months, sobbing on her knees at his bedside praying that there would be a way to bring him back to her.

"Tony..." She'd spoken without meaning to, reaching towards him with both hands, desperate to make eye contact with him again.

Stark wasn't quite sure if he was imagining it, the feeling against his hair and the sound of her barely audible voice above his sobs, but for some reason, he looked up anyway.

Only to be met with the blue-green gaze of someone he never thought he'd see again.

"P-pepper?!" Anthony almost choked on his words, staring at her in complete shock, eyes red from crying as he looked at her.

For a while, they both stayed silent, just looking.

Neither of them had ever believe they could miss the other like that.

"I..."

"You..."

"Oh god..."

"We..."

Words seemed to fail both of them, still lost in each others gaze as the strawberry-blonde moved, slipping her hand properly around his, gently running it over every callas, reminding herself of the map of his flesh that she knew so well. He didn't stop her, surprised by how soft she still felt.

Pepper knew she should say something, should speak, should tell him what had happened before he touched her again, but she couldn't. Stopping him became too difficult the moment his hand closed tight around hers, clutching it as if it might be yanked from his grasp at any moment.

Tony moved before she could stop him, someone forcing himself to his feet and perching on the end of the bed, tumbling into her arms the moment she offered them, clutching her to him as he burred himself against the crook of her neck, just taking in the feeling.

She curled up against him, eyes closing despite the tears that where pouring from under her eyelids, fists wrapped in his shirt. For a moment, she let herself go, taking in the scent and the feeling and the heat of him pressed against her.

The silence closed in again for a few minutes, time loosing all matter as they indulged themselves. There was no other answer for the feelings, maybe for the very first time, and maybe for the last time, She knew she loved him, and he loved her. This wasn't going to stop, even death couldn't do them part.

Hiccuping a little, Pepper pulled back, catching his gazed between her tears as she tried to calm down, trying to think of how to say it, her hands wondering up to rest against his cheek, stroking it gently: "Tony... I need t-"

He'd cut her off with his fingertip, pressing his forehead against hers as she cupped the hand she was pressing against him: "Tomorrow..." He muttered, leaning in so close their noses where touching, his warm breath gracing her lips again: "We'll talk about it Tomorrow..."

Again, they both just stopped, lost in each others warmth and affection again. Neither of them quite sure what to do with the other.

But the moment she found his warm lips pressed against hers she knew.

They where going to be okay, the pain, the hell she'd dragged herself through for the past through months, determined to make it work and have him back in her arms again, was suddenly worth it. Pepper had never imagined this moment would ever come, his hands slipping backwards into her hair to gently tip her neck to the side, deepening the gentle affection she was so desperate for, allowing her to loose herself as she relented, letting him indulge.

Tony Stark was alive.

And he was hers again.

* * *

THE END

* * *

Thank-you for the support and dedication of each of you for seeing this through until the end, it has been an emotional journey to say the story was written based on a very personal experience someone close to me when through last year, and is dedicated to her and her partner.

_Hopefully someday the stars with bless you again and you'll regain that twinkle in your eye, but until then, we'll be by your side and in your heart to hold you tight._

If you would like me to, i am willing to write a few more (shorter) storys on the subject of Pepper and Tony dealing with everything she's been through since he's been gone, and dealing with some of the subplots in this story more in-depth.

Also, if you have an opinions/thoughts/questions about this Story, please feel free to ask!

Gingerfloss xx


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